At PMQ's yesterday, the armed forces minister Bill Rammell managed to announce that Britain's fattest man had been drafted into the Royal Navy where he'll become the Uk's third aircraft carrier! Luckily for thespoof our reporter had penetrated sec...
Washington, DC resident Milt Candless was shocked when he recently saw what looked to be a "overweight, out of shape guy" smoking a cigarette and wearing a jersey "in the style of those worn by the Washington Redskins." "In the first place," e...
Every City, U.S.A. - Up until the eighties it was the glory days for smokers. Ash trays on every desk, ash trays outside of elevators, doctors walking through hospitals smoking, planes, trains, buses...it was a thing of beauty. However, nothing t...
Rumour has it that the world's fattest man, Saul Manson, of Ipswich is none too pleased about scathing comments posted about him on a satirical website by writer, Skoob1999 Okay, I'll come clean here. That writer is me. I'd like to make it clea...
Sources have revealed that the world's fattest bloke, Saul Manson, 48, of Ipswich right here in the UK consumes a phenomenal amount of food. The 70 stone (980lbs) blob often hits the chippy for lunch, ordering an incredible: 4 large cod and chi...
Struggling to identify new product offerings in the toilet tissue marketplace, Sharminn Company announced today that it will be releasing a new line of personal cleansing products for consumers of significantly wider girth. A common problem for mo...
Chicago - A plane filled with guest stars from the Jerry Springer Show and Oprah failed to get off the ground on take-off yesterday at O'Hare Airport. Normally airlines account for some tubby passengers but count on the law of averages to ensure t...
NEW YORK CITY, NY - Casey Wilson denied reports today that she was fired from the Saturday Night Lineup for not being fat enough. "I had an amazing time on the show," Wilson told interviewers as she polished off another cheesecake. "Those rumors...
Crap Watchers, the new diet craze of the stars is now being offered to everyone over the counter and close to the bathroom of all major drugstores. Once, only Kirsty Alley or Britney or Kirsty Alley again could use this amazing product to lose th...
Big fat American fuckers are causing the nation to slowly sink into the ocean floor. The obesity epidemic has unbalanced the nation to such an extent that it is predicted that by 2020 the entire country will be 400ft below sea level. Emergency tea...
Fat 80's soul singer Alison Moyet crushed 12 not fat people as she pushed her way through a crowded food hall in Bradford today. The obese, slightly scary looking songstress knocked aside the other customers like pinball's as she rushed to get to...
The lovely Kirstie Alley has piled on the pounds and kilos and had to be crane lifted into the studio to chat to her pal Oprah. Ms Alley warned Oprah about the sins of over-eating. Which is a bit like Oliver Reed warning Richard Burton and George Bes...
In an amazing new discovery yesterday, scientists at the Hoover Institute for People Posing as Yellowbellies (H.I.P.P.Y) found a way for obese people to use their own body fat as gasoline for their car. This amazing new technology allows fat people t...
Hollywood - Lard injections and lard implants are the latest plastic surgery procedures to become popular in the city of the forever young. "Lard has unfairly been neglected as a natural beauty agent" says leading plastic surgeon Dr. Victor Nicho...
From our political correspondent - Rumblings of discontent have been detected from smokers and drinkers across the UK who enjoy their vices without fanfare, yet find themselves increasingly alienated from mainstream society by a bunch of wankers who...
Doctors have slammed the British population today for being "fat, greedy, drunk layabouts". The news shocked many and there were instances of people falling off their sofa in shock. The spread of obesity is causing concern. "I travel to work on th...
The number of troops diagnosed as overweight or obese has more than doubled since the start of the Iraq war, yet another example of stress and strains of continuing combat deployments, according to a recent Pentagon study. "This is serious", state...
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