Northern Rock are going to be bailed out - by Elton John! In an eleventh hour last-ditch shock development, the Queen of Pop has agreed to not let the sun go down on the troubled mortgage giant.
London, England - Some say Britney is trying to run away from K-Fed; others that she is running back into the arms Justin (whom they say she secretly wants away from Madonna); still other's say it is all of the above. Whatever the cause for the m...
Musical Icon Elton John was today in hiding after keeping his opinion to himself. The usually shy and retiring singer, famed as much for his piano playing as his flower purchasing habits shocked the world by not giving his opinion on a number of thin...
Hollywierd, California (IP) - Elton John has not been seen nor been heard from much as of late and now he has re-surfaced in a totally new incarnation.
Sir Elton John, who very recently headlined the Concert For Diana's Gerbil Fund, shocked fans with his sleek new slender look. What they might not have recognised is his head, which some estimate may have accounted for as much as 40% of the weigh...
All hell broke loose at the Lady Diana's concert when Sir Elton John decided to 'break the wind' while singing about a candle. The consequences of the sound and the pungent odor emanating from the grossly enlarged anus of the homosexual d...
Sir Elton John is said to be seething about Ricky Gervais "showing him up" at the Take That gig in London's Olympia at the weekend.
Police investigating the two car bombs planted in Central London yesterday say that the Gay Pride festival could have been a target for the bombers.
Atlanta, Georgia - The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) today identified the man with a rare form of tuberculosis as Sir Elton John. He was first diagnosed with an especially-virulent form of the disease prior to his birthday celebra...
In a stunt geared towards gaining publicity for the 2010 football World Cup, which may be staged in England, Sir Elton John, the well-known homo, will play a concert at the stadium where the Final would be held,
That celebrated international festival of anti-talent, the Eurovision Song Contest gets under way in Helsinki this Saturday amid the usual controversies and scandal that make it one of the most shambolic, manufactured and tedious eve...
CCN (Crazy Cal News) - U.K. - Today, Sir Elton John was picked to play at the Blair/Bush wedding. Sir Elton was astonished, thinking that Bush didn't like gays.
Prince William, recently dumped by decidedly ordinary Kate Middleclass, is to try his luck with someone a few steps down the social ladder - and the evolutionary scale! - ex-Big Brother and Celebrity Big Brother slug...
Despite claims of a lavish 60th birthday weekend that included a celebrity-filled Madison Square Garden concert on March 25th, it has been confirmed that the Elton John at those events was a professional aging-rock-star body double.
Oops! Sir Elton's done it again, this time the target of the rocket man's newly primed missile is the much maligned and publicly played out demise and fall of the former princess of pop Britney Spears.
Yesterday, a story was published in The Spoof which misrepresented the views of Sir Elton John, with regard to his opinions on homosexuality. Monkey Woods would like to assure readers that Sir Elton does not hold those opinions, would like to apologise for misquoting him, and for any trauma suffered by him, caused by the publication of the story. That being said, here are some excerpts of an...
Sir John Elton, the self-styled 'Grandad of Pop', is shouting from the rooftops again - this time on the subject of homosexuals who, he says, he despises.
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