SAN ANTONIO - The Texas heat wave continues to wreak havoc on humans and animals alike. Temperatures in the Alamo City have consistently hovered around the 102 to 109 mark. San Antonio Zoo Director Frijolita Del Caldo stood outside of the hipp...
In a staggering revelation, scientists have today revealed that the world's best loved "cute" animal species are fakes - yes - FAKES! The species in question, Meerkats, Seals, Chimpanzees, Baby Deer, lambs, squirrels, calves, little chicks and all...
The Prince of Wales today asked people to end the slow, painful drift towards extinction of endangered species of animals, and to shoot them now to put them out of their misery. 'When one was in India', he said, 'bagging one's first tiger, well, o...
In Cleveland, Ohio, three researchers were killed and 15 more were overcome by toxic fumes as prehistoric putrefaction escaped from the antediluvian ass of a baby mammoth carcass. The world-renowned scientists had gathered at Case Western's Harr...
In a strange turn of events, scientists have found that mole claws can be used to help cure the "common cold". The researchers that have discovered the new cure will not go into much detail about the events that led up to the discovery, but have hint...
Hard to credit it now, I know, but that first pilot of what became Small Woodland Creatures On Ice did point the way to the future of television. In an age when even the most sautéed couch potato was growing weary of the vainglorious and talentles...
The Worldwide Fund for Nature has started a new appeal on behalf of a species it says has now been recognised as among the world's most endangered. The Greater-Mouthed Premiership Manager, or Managerium Footballaris, is now so under pressure that...
London Zoo became the first zoo to lose more than 100 lions for the season after losing 11 lions during the Xmas period. The lions had already sealed the zoo league's worst-ever year with last Sunday's 3 lion loss. They join the 1976 Bristol...
Police do not take pet animal attacks on postal delivery workers seriously enough, irate union leaders told press hacks during their annual Christmas piss-up at Smegmadale's Fighting Dog and Pikey pub. The claim comes after postman Sheldon Scrunt...
LOS ANGELES - Last week, the militant animal rights organization BAMBI masterminded a spectacular "bust-out" of hundreds of zoo animals from the Yorba Loma Zoo, where they had been kept captive for many years. The bust-out reinforced the strength of...
Small, furry, rodent like animals are everywhere in this Central New Mexico city. Animal Control Officers and Police and Sheriff's Departments are overworked in attempting to round up and destroy this infestation of the mountain pickleweasel. Sai...
Meckleburg PA - Hitler's alleged suicide in WWII has been challenged by recent evidence that he lived until 2002 in the small village of Meckleburg as a practicing veterinarian. Villagers say he openly practiced his craft after mysteriously arriving...
The Closing Ceremony at the Beijing Olympics is to be an all-singing, all-dancing extravaganza which will also include a wonderful fireworks display, and the ritual sacrifice of 2008 chickens and 8 bulls. 8 is a lucky number in China, but not for...
The European Court of Whateveritis has fined former actress Brigitte Bardot for eating animals that no-one else does.
At it's launch today the the virulently anti-animal group People for the Unethical Treatment of Animals or PUTA caused many vegans to lose their dinner.
Killer butterflies have once more been spotted in England and sources close to the government are said to be stumped.
The majority of US states forbid the triple cocktail used in Capital punishment lethal injection when administered to family pets and rabid animals. But seven of the nine Supreme Court Justices approved Kentucky's use of the triple threat in the...
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