Written by Widgey

Friday, 17 April 2009

In a strange turn of events, scientists have found that mole claws can be used to help cure the "common cold". The researchers that have discovered the new cure will not go into much detail about the events that led up to the discovery, but have hinted that it involved lots of alcohol and a dare at the infamous annual Researchers Revolt party.

Hank Ladyman, the lead scientist at the Institute of Annoying and Pointless Ailments and Illnesses which hosted the party, has said that "Spin the bottle has never been both so amusing and beneficial for all of humanity".

This is the third intriguing and mysterious discovery to come from the institute in the last three years. The first of such cures found is an alternative cure for poisoning from rattle snakes venom which involves the swallowing of British Pound coins, and the second is a cure for the common childhood virus Chicken Pox which involves clipping the infected patient with 30 clothes pegs in various places on the body. Neither of these cures has been implemented in the medical profession as they are not entirely cost effective and practical.

This latest cure has sparked debate within the science world with various scientific institutes claiming that the Institute of Annoying and Pointless Ailments and Illnesses ways of finding antidotes and cures is immature and is bringing shame to the name of science.

The spokesperson for the Research Group of Totally Serious Studies has commented that "We do not appreciate this laid back technique of science and the way that the rest of the profession is being brought down by these fun loving researchers. Science should involve test tubes, lab coats and goggles and stuff!"

They also said that "It is common knowledge Moles and science should be kept apart and it is irresponsible for this rogue institute to bring the two together. Especially after the well known 'Whack-A-Mole in a Laboratory Incident' of 1976, which caused a massive explosion and destroyed a whole scientific research facility"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Research, Animals




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