The European Court of Whateveritis has fined former actress Brigitte Bardot for eating animals that no-one else does.
In a ruling, the court fined her 50 Euros - £23 GBP or $200 US - for a list of crimes involving cruelty to animals. These include eating horses, seen as pets and even athletes outside of France, stuffing geese til they can hardly walk, then cutting their livers out, frying various gastropods such as snails alive in garlic sauce, and chopping off and cooking the legs of cutesy little frogs, all to be served up with cheap red wine.
Speaking from her chateau in Burgundy, she shouted: 'When will the British stop trying to make us eat scrambled eggs and fried breakfasts, and drinking whisky? It's a disgrace to the French nation, our culture is being eroded! That English blue cheese smells rather good.'
But her neighbour, Mohammed Unis, from Bolton, in England, said: 'She's barking, mate, totally off her trolley, completely doolally and a wrinkle short of a facelift.'
And his wife, Shereen, added: 'France should have a Hypocritic Award or something, it's like when they tell people they liberated themselves in 1944, the thousands of British and Americans were just there as spectators! Hilarious stuff. Another pakora?'
This is not the first time that Miss Bardot has been fined for hypocritical remarks. In 2004 she claimed that Marshall Petain was a 'decent man and a patriot', and in 1998 she said the British were 'a bunch of namby-pamby, vegetarian world-conquerors and empire-builders.'
But French President, Nikolei Trotskovsky, commented: 'At least she doesn't make xenophobic remarks about me and my name, whew, now THAT would be hypocrisy.' Napoleon Bonaparte was on holiday in his Corsican home.
