Anchorage/AP - House and Senate Democrats voted unanimously to retroactively impeach former Secretary of State William Seward and Senate Committee Chairman for Foreign Relations Charles Sumner for the purchase of Alaska in 1867. Purchased from Ru...
Juneau AK-- The forty-ninth state abruptly seceded from the United States today. The Alaskan state legislature voted unanimously to leave the union. Sarah Palin will be sworn in as the first president of the Republic of Alaska in a noontime ceremony...
Juneau, Alaska - (Frozen Ass Mess): A skull and crossbones-emblazoned UFO buzzed the Wassilla home of Alaska's Governor Sarah Palin. Moments earlier GOP presidential wannabe John McCain had just announced that the 44 year-old ex beauty queen is th...
Anchorage, Alaska - (Frozen Ass Mess): Governor Sarah Palin is determined to de-list polar bears as a threatened species after a law protecting them was passed in DC last week.
Anchorage, Alaska - (Rioters): Former Alaskan Governor Frank Murkowski's one-time chief of staff Jim Clark has pleaded guilty to one charge of whoring for VECO in the continuing Alaskan Corrupt Bastards Club probe.
Anchorage, Alaska - (AssoCIAted Mess): Snitching up accomplices in an FBI public orifice corruption sting hasn't been enough to let former Alaska lawmaker and Corrupt Bastards Club grandee Rep Tom Anderson off the hook for seven federal counts of...
Valdez, Alaska - (Ass Mess): The $2.7 million private jet that former Alaskan governor Frank H Murkowski swindled out of state funds in 2005 for his own hubristic pleasures was finally sold today on eBay, realising $2.1 million as scrap.
Anchorage, Alaska - (Armageddon Press): One of Alaska's most active volcanos appears to be having what scientists have described as an 'anthropomorphic pavlovian reaction' to the furor surrounding the Corrupt Bastards Club and is beginin...
CCN (Crazy Cal News) - Alaska - The Alaskans have joined together to buy back Alaska from Texas. President George W. Bush had previously bought Alaska with his pocket change, bu...
Kids in the rural Alaskan Biteame commune don't have much to do for fun. What they do have is one limited Internet connection and a love for the trading card game...
Senators Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama worked together on Capitol Hill today to firm up a bill promoting fitness in America. The legislation would create funding for a series of government run gyms, with the idea...
President Bush had insisted that no Federal agents assist in the rescue of the cruise ship that ran aground near Juneau, Alaska. Also, he has said that no federal property or equipment will be used to repair the ship or assist the crew or passengers...
Washington, DC--- El Prez Bush today announced he will allow unassailed drilling all across Alaska, in order to tap believed huge reserves of oil.
CCN (Crazy Cal News) - Alaska - Today, God frowned on the whole state of Alaska.
CCN (Crazy Cal News) - Alaska - Last night, the moon crashed into a high mountain in Alaska. No one expected such an occurance, least of not Earth scientists.
Today, while looking at pictures of his late Texas Ranger grandfather, Cal-el got thirsty and decided to have a mint julep. He went to his Texas freezer to get some ice cubes. Much to his surprise, when he opened the freezer door, he found Alaska. He almost dropped it in his julep glass, thinking it was an ice cube.
Methane gasses are escaping from the permafrost on Alaska's North Slope due to Global Warming. Millions of cubic tons of natural gas was ignited by a small aircraft entering the gas pocket which was estimated to reach 5,000 feet high and covr ove...
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