Washington, DC The Food and Drug Administration has issued a warning that a Deviled Eggs recipe making the rounds through email should be avoided at all costs. The recipe is said to contain many ingredients and preparation instructions that could be...
Vancouver, BC - Officials from both Russia and Canada are meeting in Vancouver to try to figure out a way of preventing that silly little person, Sarah Palin, from ever getting out of Alaska again. It is not clear if they are working on the advic...
Beijing, China - Chinese-based internet hackers have cornered the market on tickets to the Staples Center Jackson Memorial show and there's nothing anyone can do about it. This is the message given the media from the Los Angeles police. Although...
Los Angeles, CA - Youtube sensation Unknown Life Form In North Carolina Sewer has been asked to perform 'Nessun Dorma' at the Michael Jackson Memorial service this coming Tuesday at the Staples Center in Los Angeles. The announcement was made by Jack...
Durham-Raleigh, NC - A boy who nearly died after being infected with flesh-eating bacteria after swimming in a lake has become sick after eating a soft-serve ice cream bought from a vendor in the hospital parking lot. The boy, 14 year-old Matthew...
New York, NY- Many online shoppers have been forced to seek other forms of entertainment as the E-commerce site, authorize crashed as a result of a fire. Said one customer, Mildred Pugh-Knightly, "...I just had to have a pair of slightly tarnishe...
London, UK - The actress, Molly Sugden, the beauty with the multi-coloured hair, Betty Slocombe, from the British sit-com, Are You Being Served, has passed away at the age of 86. Previous to the character of Betty Slocombe, Ms. Sugden had very minimal success. However after undertaking the part, she, along with her pussy; made such a solid impression that the series ran for 13 years. By 1977,...
New York, NY - It has been discovered that Michael Jackson's previous tour doctor, Dr. Neil Ratner, once accidently injected himself with morphine and dropped to the floor paralyzed, all whilst in the middle of performing a medical procedure on a pat...
Elk Grove, CA - Ben Findlebaum, a concerned parent in Elk Grove, California, has been busy all night selling the Crystal Defanti sex video online. Crystal Defanti is a digitally challenged 5th grade teacher who mistakenly gave her students a DVD of h...
Los Angeles, CA - Having declared on July 1st that California is in a 'fiscal emergency', Governor Arnold Shwarzenneger remarked that 'Caulifornia' and the city of Los Angeles cannot afford to underwrite the costs of security for the upcoming funeral...
Los Angeles, CA - A video circulating the web titled 'Unknown Life Form in North Carolina Sewer' could actually be video of the Michael Jackson autopsy. While police have yet to confirm this suspicion, many amateur forensic pathologists have positive...
Los Angeles, CA - A video on Youtube entitled 'Unknown Life Form in North Carolina Sewer' has gone viral, with over 3 million hits in 24 hours. Scientists believe that the video may actually aid in the understanding of 'The King of Pop', Michael Jack...
Heaven, Universe - Karl Malden, 97, has died but what appears more infuriating to the former actor and American Express pitchman is that, due to an unforseen influx of dead celebrities, his reservation was lost, and his American Express is not accept...
Washington, D.C. - What is believed to be the penis of early midwestern bank robber, John Dillinger, famously killed outside of a movie theater on orders of J. Edgar Hoover, has been discovered in a box at the Smithsonian Institution. The box was...
London, UK - The self proclaimed widow of recently deceased legend Michael Jackson, 'The King Of Pop', Ms. Nona Paris Lola Ankhesenamun Jackson, says that her mourning period is over and she wants to get on with her life. Her first step in this tran...
Beverly Hills, CA - It has been revealed that Dr. Arnold Klein, Michael Jackson's dermatologist, may in fact be the biological father of his children. As well as children, Dr. Klein supplied Michael Jackson with many of his medical needs, including,...
Napa, Ca - Joe Jackson, father of the late Michael Jackson, aka 'The King Of Pop', has planted a vineyard at Neverland and will start marketing 'Jesus Juice', a fizzy wine product, aimed at introducing alcohic beverages to pre-teens. "We have to s...
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