Haddonfield, Illinois, USA, Halloween night. - Following an upsurge in panic about the undead rising up in order to eat the living Professor Arnold Stovepipe of the Harvard Institute for Paranormal Research announced that there really wasn't anything...
Washington DC. We are approaching the final week of the exciting national Halloween costume competition, which is held once every four years. This year, the competition is as fierce as ever, with many great costumes and outfits on display. But it'...
Washington DC-- China today was charged with sending tons of poisoned candy to the USA, just before Halloween. The Chinese are furious with the credit crunch and the trade imbalance. They want revenge and they want America to pay. The candy is lace...
As the Eve of Obamaween approaches, many stare at the stars in fear, few know what to do,... even fewer know why they are even looking up instead of looting their neighbor's shelled out clutter-factory of a short-sale home. But onward the nation t...
Edge City, PA-- Sociologists are warning of a disturbing trend this Halloween. Trick-or-treaters may not be all they seem. Many are violent and the majority have criminal records. Sociologists say it's probably better not to open the door. Dr.
WAPAKONETA, Ohio - Well Halloween is right around the corner. And the largest Halloween costume provider in the United States is in production 24 hours a day, seven days a week in order to keep up with the demands for the various costumes, masks, and...
New York, New York - It is well known that Sarah Palin dressed up as Tina Fey for Halloween but until the release of the Palin sex tape on the Internet, no one knew that she would often would remain in character back home in the bedroom where she wou...
Fifth Avenue, NYC - (Suspicious Mess): Mystery surrounds an early Halloween horror in New York's swanky Fifth Avenue as Linda Stein, co-manager of the legendary punk rock band The Ramones, was found bludgeoned to death in her apartment on Tuesday...
Chicago- Shock and awe are the only words for the new look sported now by Larry King, since his encounter with an irate head shrinker while vacationing in New Guinea.
Buckingham Palace - (Prophetic Mess): The three day state visit of Saudi Arabia's corpulent and badly hair-dyed King Abdullah is hexed by a Halloween curse that will bring down the Hellfire Club's Puppet Monarchy according to latest soothsayi...
Spoiler Alert: Jigsaw and his apprentice Amanda Young are dead. Upon hearing the news of Detective Kerry's murder, two seasoned FBI profilers (Agents Strahm and Perez) arrive at the depleted police precinct and help veteran Detective Hoffman sift through Jigsaw's latest grisly game of victims and piece together the puzzle. But when SWAT Commander Rigg, the last officer untouched by Jigsaw,...
Key Largo, Florida - (Ass mess): Not content to shag their Halloween pumpkins in the traditional way, some local Key Largo divers are staging an innovative shag-your-pumpkin underwater contest this year.
District of Columbia (Scars and Tripes) - It began quietly enough last week when the Dalai Lama was presented the prestigious Congressional Gold Medal for his many years of selfless work with Tibetan llamas.
The Nepalese and Tibetian governments announced today that Mt. Everest would open the world's first haunted mountain this Halloween season. The 29,035 foot peak, the highest in the world, has been an attraction for climbers all over the world sin...
Washington AC/DC - (Reuterus & Ass Mess): Mary Cheney's five month old son Samuel David Cheney has been put under round the clock surveillance by Homeland Insecurity officials ahead of an ominous descent into hellish premonitions materialising on...
Following Gordon Brown's announcement of a snap Halloween election, the Government has recommended that election agents knocking on people's doors should d...
New studies show that the red, orange, and white parts of a candy corn all taste the same, despite popular belief. It is a common practice to bite each color individually in hopes of experiencing each flavor by itself.
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