The new security screening device being tested by the T.S.A. has come under fire for the lack of privacy and for the intensity of the scan. The machine sees through clothing and can reveal intimate parts of a person's anatomy or undergarments. Wo...
WASHINGTON, D.C. (ABSNN) -- Actor Brad Pitt shocked the entertainment world Tuesday when he announced he was retiring from films in order to become a Transportation Safety Administration airport guard. "In times such as these, it is incumbent upon...
In the headlines today is Umy Faloukin Tummysbad, the son of the most honest banker in Nigeria, who was reported as setting off an incendiary device on an airliner when he went to the toilet with a joint. The airlines and press had been instructed...
(Defecated News) In a shocking move in the ongoing chess game between crew and management, London-based BA cabin staff last night hijacked one of their toy planes in the waiting area at Terminal 5. The 1/10th scale Boeing 767 model was broken into...
British Airways are looking for ways to avoid the planned 12 day cabin crew strike which is almost certain to occur over the Christmas period. Other groups of employees, such as pilots and engineers, are not striking. It is only the "trolley dolli...
The pilot of the flight that flew past its destination Wednesday claimed in preliminary hearings that he and his co-pilot were headed for Larimer County, Colorado, "in search of 'balloon boy'." The pilot testified Saturday during the first phase o...
DENVER, CO - The pilot of the now infamous flight to nowhere claims he was not drinking in the cockpit, this time. He claims, according to my source, the stewardess he slept with last night, that he in fact saw balloon boy at 36,000 feet. He is afr...
(Washington, D.C.) A passenger flight overshot its destination airport by about 150 miles Wednesday. Federal investigators initially thought that the aircraft, which remained radio silent for 16 minutes, might have been taken over by terrorists.
Bratwurst Airlines, Airsled flight AA-151, was flying erratically today on the way from San Diego to Minneapolis. It missed the airport and started circling over an Indian reservation, where it was attacked with arrows. Contact with the Bratwurst...
The airline is a-buzz with the news that a Wednesday evening flight overshot it's destination when the two pilots became "distracted". Pilots Bruce Hardman and Dirk Hungston have insisted that they did not hear any radio or phone calls, as they we...
WASHINGTON DC. President Obama announces a new strategy in the "War on Terror". The transcript of the announcement and press release can be found here; "Today Ladies and Gentleman, I am announcing a package of new measures which I am sure will b...
Executives at an Indian airline have hailed as a tremendous success, a new service which caters for the depraved and sex-mad amongst travellers, providing in-flight gratuitous sex facilities. Kabbadi Air started its service with a flight from the...
Britain's least favourite airline, English Airways, who are deep in debt, have introduced new charges for their seats. This means punters can only buy standing only tickets on their flights from, say, London to Sydney, for example and pay extra for t...
New York, New York - ACORN announced today that it was entering the airline business with an eye towards competing over lucrative Caribbean drug routes. The move caught industry insiders by surprise and sent them scrambling to adjust their stock port...
There was panic aboard an Airbus 320 when French-speaking passengers heard the announcement that "We're crashing - say goodbye". The English speakers on board heard the usual "In a few moments, we will pass down the aisle with our duty free collec...
Sleazyjet, the well-known economy airline has taken a giant leap in cost-cutting. From now on, when you check in online, you will be asked if you wish to volunteer to fly the aircraft, act as cabin crew or baggage handler. In the event that ins...
CARACAS - The CEO of Trans Via Venezuela Airlines, one of the largest airlines in South America, Don Diego Corona-Cienfuegos has stated in an email to his sister, Chalupita Corona-Cienfuegos Schwartz that his director of ticket stamping has informed...
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