London - (Diabolical Mess): Is the Pope hiding behind a privacy super-injunction to gag genetic results about his real Pa? Scientists at the National Poisons Unit reckon the Vatican 'has moved heaven and earth' to destroy DNA specimens proving nec...
The British singing sensation Susan Boyle said Wednesday she feels humbled and honored and "a little bit nerkus" by the opportunity to sing for Pope Benedict XVI during his tour of Britain. The highly unlikely pop star who shot to global fame afte...
Washington AC/DC - (Papal Bullshit News): Three hours of blah, blah, Cheryl Cole/Osama's timeshare/BP/Lady Gaga/Mahmoud Ahmadinejad/Raoul Moat/Andy Roddick's penis extension... and it's curtains for Papa Ratzi, baby! That's the upshot of the Obama...
London - (Blackshirt News): It's the greatest day of his pathetic fascist life. The BNP's poster boy for unbridled corruption is preparing to meet birth mom Queen Elizabeth at a Buckingham Palace garden party on Thursday. At 2pm tomorrow Grif...
Several raids were carried out last Thursday by Belgian police seeking to gather evidence as part of their investigation into allegations of priestly sexual abuse. Documents and computers were confiscated, bishops were held for questioning, and even...
Pope Benedict XVI has approved the movie, "The Blues Brothers" and recommended it to all Catholics, following a thirty-year study. The Pope himself made the announcement this morning and proceeded to do a moonwalk during Aretha's "Think About It"...
The Pope has used the divine cell phone to call upon angel voiced Susan Boyle to perform for him when he visits in September. The Pope has a crush on the velvet tones of the 49-year-old star and has invited her to sing as part of a public mass in...
Edinburgh - (Holy Cow!): The offspring of Queen Elizabeth and Pope Joe Ratzinger is still pissed at years of childhood deprivation caused by her absentee father's monumental stinginess. Redtop reports she would be singing 'Ave Maria' at an open ai...
Pope Benedict XVI has announced plans for a final solution in his bid to purify the Church. In a radical move, the Pope plans to gas all members of the clergy who are found guilty of being paedophiles. "Zis ist der final solution, ja? But it worke...
Algarve - (Praia Da Iluzion): The four day stay will see Pope Benedick re-enact the tumultuous welcome the McCanns received at St Peter's in Rome in 2007. Prayers at the Our Lady of Fatima shrine will continue to beseech for church secrecy in all...
The Columbia Broadcasting Company has issued an apology that was read by anchor woman, Katie Couric Tuesday concerning her recent interview with the Pope. Although they were in two different countries, the interview was live and was supposed to b...
In a matter of seconds the entire perception of the Vatican was changed when Pope Benedict did the unthinkable but also the most miraculous item a pontiff could embrace. In succumbing to the natural order of men and women the Pope met, married, and c...
A leaked Vatican email has left Foreign Office officials incensed after suggesting that the Pope should flip his second home whilst on a visit to Britain, the Daily Torygraph revealed today. Called "The Ideal Visit", the document was believed to b...
Young people in the UK have many disarming phrases meant as put downs and to which there is no answer. One favourite is "take the shame!" You acted like a numpty, a div, a tool are some of the kindest definitions of this phrase. Perhaps "what a tr...
Pope Benedict XVI's visit to the UK has resulted in Scotland being beatified due to a grammatical error. The original itinerary stated that: "..the Pope would take in Birmingham as part of the planned beatification of Cardinal John Newman and Scot...
The civil service can relax. An official delegation from The Vatican arrived in London today in a black Limo with tinted windows. The vehicle contained some chappies from Italia, in dark suits and ray-bans. Who looked a bit intimidating. It's unde...
If he can escape the damning evidence of unacceptable behaviour by his underlings in the Church, Pope Benedict will visit Glasgow, Scotland in September. One of the highlights of his visit will be a performance, in front of 150,000 by the Scottish...
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