Follow my instructions and you can then go out and catch animals like some sort of modern-day Buffalo Bill. What you'll need: - String or twine. - A springy twig or sapling. - Some bits of branch or wood. - Some smaller twigs. - A knife (for cutting) - Human hands. (for doing stuff and scratching backside) - Human brain. (for thinking) - The patience to even bother. Now, this snare...
London - (Fawning Fauna Furor): Illuminati mind control experiment technology may be to blame for the tide of animal kingdom protest suicides. This week's global pandemic of bird, fish and crab fatalities is being linked to an electronic sublimina...
A critical breakthrough has been made in efforts to save the giant panda, one that could kick-start attempts to reintroduce the animals to the wild. For many years, people have tried to get giant pandas to breed in captivity, but with little succe...
A stupid boy was attacked by an otter yesterday. The youth was capturing the cute little otter on his cell phone when all hell broke loose. The otter was sunning himself on the grass when the boy approached saying, "oh, look at the cute little o...
The popular TV giraffe called Hamley (RIP) stuck his neck out once too far, got struck by lightning and is now a stiff long-necked "stiff" giraffe. The freak accident happened on a Safari park in South Africa where Hamley was busy chewing on his f...
The Emperor Stag. Paul the Psychic Octopus. Pingu. - All notable celebrities in the animal world. All being picked off by a vigilante assassin. Mr. Makepeace of the Green Animals Society is said to be annoyed that he can't have enough publicity i...
Milli the nine banded mongoose was most unhappy when he lost his position of power in the gallant band after a resounding defeat by a stronger rival faction. He'd spent many years sucking up to the great leader and his predecessor before finding out that the great leader had many flaws in his character and was totally unfit to lead the gallant band. After being driven out of the prime territor...
The fossil of a giant and deadly penguin that roamed the earth 36 million years ago has been discovered in Peru. Scientists, writing in Science journal, say that the features of the bird show that it evolved from early penguins, with brown and gra...
A food production company was ordered to pay nearly £10,000 after a man found a dog in a yoghurt pot as he ate his lunch. Oscar Waggitt of Stinkborough, South Yorkshire had already eaten some of the yoghurt when he came across the canine filling.
It's all the rage and "pussies" are being sprayed different colours (mainly pink) all over the UK. Animal protectionists are not happy about this latest fashion in pet-keeping but have to admit, every "pussy" owner can do what they want with it (a...
What is the world coming to? Really? Some of the news that reporters have to cover can leave one feeling a bit jaded. First there was Mary Bale and her feline flinging fiasco followed by that man recently who was caught on camera leaving his poor...
There was a real 'safari feel' to the discovery made by intrepid mum Karen Low-Cal in Stoke this morning, when, during her daily clean-up of her son's bedroom, she discovered what appeared to be an impala. Karen, the mum of pesky 15-year-old Child...
HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Kirstie Alley's neighbors are up in arms. It seems that the 409 pound celebrity has managed to amass a total of 25 different pets and they literally roam around her property and the inside of her once-exquisite house. A neighbor...
Many people are suddenly leaping up onto their beds and shouting "Look at this thing!" lately - and it is all down to 'The Thing'. A woman was terrified at the sight that greeted her as she awoke this morning, but once she remembered to put on her...
Astrid Newspock, International Director of the Persons for Exploitative Treatment of Activists (PEToA), has ramped up their exploitation of any one they damned-well please by opening the Megan Kanka Memorial Hospital for Dogs in Philadelphia, Pa.
Snakes are endangered worldwide and may be extinct by 2050, say wildlife experts. But, as zoologist Dr Patrick Sodderly points out, whilst they may be seen as evil poisonous slitherers, snakes are, in fact, a vital part of our world. According to...
A series of debates were scheduled by the pigs and Snowball urged construction of the windmill claiming it would boost production and ease the workload of the commune but Napoleon opposed it. The animals cheered the idea and worked even harder than before. Catch up: Part 1 Part 2 When it was obvious that Napoleon was losing the support of the farm animals he unleashed his pup raised pack of...
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