A tale of intruige from the animal world

Funny story written by galgar

Friday, 1 October 2010

Milli the nine banded mongoose was most unhappy when he lost his position of power in the gallant band after a resounding defeat by a stronger rival faction.

He'd spent many years sucking up to the great leader and his predecessor before finding out that the great leader had many flaws in his character and was totally unfit to lead the gallant band. After being driven out of the prime territory the great one eyed leader relinquished control of the band then faded into obscurity.

This was the very opportunity that Milli had been waiting for so he decided to run for leadership of the band. Being a senior member of the band he felt that he had a very good chance of becoming leader, considering the poor quality of the opposition, namely old Bollocky Ed. When told that a wierd fat female was also in the running he was appauled at the audacity of the creature.

"Females are designed for bearing pups and bringing them up," he ranted.

Then someone mentioned that his brother Eedi also had designs on the leadership and he flew into a rage. "The back stabbing little bastard, I don't believe it."

So, it came to pass that his younger brother did become leader after scraping in with only a few votes, gained from a very dubious source.

When the news finally reached him, Milli just sat there speechless staring out into space, furiously scratching his balls until they began to bleed. Then a devious plan began to form in his mind. Brother Eedi had only seven distinct bands on his coat while the others all had the customary nine. Father had said that younger sibling was a slow developer and the other two bands would appear in time but never did and Eedi remained a freak of nature, a rather ugly duckling type that few liked or trusted. Milli arrived at the only conclusion possible. Some roving male must have jumped his mothers bones and he then realised that his father must have known about it and made the comment about the bands to save face. He probably smelled the other male scent on her when she returned to the den, by which time it was too late.

After a short time of deep contemplation he vaguely remembered a big scruffy looking male that used to hang about on the fringes of their territory and everyone jeered at, calling his Smelly Dickrot because of the awful stench he left after scent marking."The timeing is about right," he chuckled, allowing a rare smile to pass over his normally sullen countenance.

He turned to his underlings and re-imposed the sullen look. "OK you lot this is what I want you to do. Ask around the older ones and find out if Dickrot was hanging around about the time mother dropped Eedi's litter and in the meantime you can always spread the rumour about his dubious paternity. Make suble mention about his band descrepancy and sow the seed of doubt in as many minds as possible without it being too obvious. I want that slimy little bastard out of the band because there's nothing worse than having a bloody traitor in the family.

A female follower approached him coyly when the others had gone. "Why don't you begin to reassert your dominance by serving few females," she suggested and offered her rear end to him.

He looked around to see if anyone was watching then dragged her down the nearest hole in the ground.

Less than three minutes later the female was left wondering why in the hell she had bothered as Milli scuttled off with his tail in the air.

Milli felt much better after his quick shag and also fairly confidant that he could prove his brothers illigitimacy and that would be the end of him because the band certainly would not want a bastard of dubious origins as leader.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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