Immediately following a lengthy meeting in the Oval Office with the Director of the U.S. Secret Service Mark J. Sullivan, President Obama decided to order a hooker. Sources say his meeting with Sullivan lasted nearly four hours. It follows a rece...
Washington, D.C.-The United States has completed a rough trade agreement with the nation of Columbia following a short fact finding tour by members of the Secret Service to check on the quality of that nation's hookers. The new rough trade agreeme...
The big news of the weekend once again involved the President of Vice, Joe Biden. This time the attacks were two-pronged. Some might say, much like Biden's tail. In story one, it was learned that last year, the PV earned $20,900 in rental inco...
Washington - "A terrible thing to happen in your husband's re-erection - uh...re-election! - year, Ma'am," was how one hang-dog protection officer put it to Michelle Obama this weekend. The First Lady is livid amid reports that a dozen Secret Serv...
WASHINGTON - In a monumental failing of the U.S. Department of Robotics, twelve androids known by insiders as units "XJ1 through XJ12" have been dismantled following an embarrassing episode involving Colombian prostitutes. The unfortunate mishap...
Pittsburgh PA: The Whiskey Rebellion of 1791 was a tax protest during the presidency of George Washington. Farmers selling their grain as distilled whiskey had to pay a new sin tax, which they strongly resented. The tax was a part of Treasury Secreta...
Isle of Dogs - The £2 million former NHS contract will see all available prostitutes working the lucrative London Olympics turf microchipped following extensive medical tests. Emergency legislation means the scheme can be extended from pet dogs, c...
Male writers on satirical (yet not at all funny) website TheSpoof.co.uk appear to be having the time of their lives, as they are drowning in a sea of marriage proposals, date offers, and emails featuring a plethora of ladies in various states of undr...
WASHINGTON D.C. - Both Mitt Romney and Rick Santorum both distanced themselves this week from vocabulary that radio host Rush Limbaugh used to describe a woman who expressed the opinion that her health insurance should pay for her contraception. L...
It's been nearly a week since Imogen Thomas has seeked any form of publicity. This week she's decided to do a candid interview with established high-brow publication Balls magazine where she appeals to the world to "leave her alone". The shy and...
Call girl to the stars, Jenny Tillwart, yesterday called time on her career as a provider of pleasure blaming police harassment for her decision. Jenny, 96, claims that her knocking shop has been raided every week for the last three months after s...
(New York)Wall Street investors are very nervous after it has been revealed that Sluttymobile phone company is being investigated for fraud and insiders say the details make Paris Hilton look like a Virgin. It is understood that Sluttymobile has...
Money strapped Britain: In the austerity streets of Britain where the local libraries are closing down, cuts of 20% to the Police planned, reductions in hospital care, so much so that a recent Government report has slammed the care of the elderly in...
The International Criminal Court in Hague, Netherlands has classified marriage as prostitution and they have put out an international arrest warrant for members of the Gothic Wedding Chapel in Phoenix, Arizona for being married. The church also c...
Kermit the Frog, 53, is said to be in hiding after sordid revelations have been leaked from sources close to the beleaguered star. In scenes reminiscent of the recent Charlie Sheen episodes, the usually clean cut star of The Muppets has been on a...
NEW YORK CITY - The star of the Twilight Saga movies Robert Pattinson appeared on Piers Morgan Tonight and explained the streetwalker rumors that have been running rampant. Pattinson disclosed to Morgan that it was all really just a misunderstandi...
Rooney is 'fit to be tied' since he heard that a rumour was going arouind that he is 'pimp' for EPL players. "OK Arv go' a little black book like - but wo'ever. Arm no freakin' pimp. A pimp does it for cash righ'? Well alls Arv done is pass a coupla names on to me mates like a good scouser would like. No' a penny 'as changed 'ands so 'ow can A be called a 'pimp? Arm tellin' me mam and...
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