Robert Pattinson Explains The Streetwalker Rumors

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Tuesday, 17 May 2011

image for Robert Pattinson Explains The Streetwalker Rumors
La Habra's infamous streetwalker Trixiana The Tongue. (Photo from the Charlie Sheen Photo Collection).

NEW YORK CITY - The star of the Twilight Saga movies Robert Pattinson appeared on Piers Morgan Tonight and explained the streetwalker rumors that have been running rampant.

Pattinson disclosed to Morgan that it was all really just a misunderstanding. He said that the other evening he, Taylor Lautner, and Zac Efron were were having dinner at The Gunfight At The OK Corral Steakhouse in Sherman Oaks.

He got up to go to the restroom and when he returned he noticed that both Taylor and Zac were grinning much too much.

He said that he later found out that while he was gone Efron and Lautner cooked up a scheme that Rob had driven down to La Habra and solicited the services of a well-known, local streetwalker known as Trixiana the Tongue.

TTT as she is known by the La Habra Police Department has a reputation for being quite the tongue bather.

Lautner and Efron who are both regarded as two of the biggest practical jokers on the Left Coast called up the supermarket tabloid Just Saying and gave them the false intimate details regarding RPattz and Trixiana the Tongue.

The publication immediately went to press with the story on the front page and then on pages 2 and 17 as well.

The Pattinson-Trixiana story even received a larger font size article heading than the stories about Pippa Middleton being wooed by porn star Ron Jeremy, Kate Gosselin being goosed by a kangaroo in Australia, and Prince Philip getting a woody after viewing Shakira's naked 2011 calendar.

According to USA DAYBREAK Pattinson has vowed to get even with both Lautner and Efron as soon as humanely possible.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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