Pope Benedict XVIIIMD has returned to Vatican City in the centre of Rome after a successful four day trip to the UK, however Scotland Yard in the UK are left wondering what happened to several important items including art-works, the Crown Jewels and...
The Scottish singer, Susan Boyle, met Pope Benedict and sang to the crowds at Bellahouston Park in Glasgow, Scotland. For Susan, this is a huge honour way up there with her other special days since her Britain's Got Talent success. For her fans...
A bizarre set of coincidences lead to one of the more unusual highlights of Pope Benedict's visit to the UK. Fortunately, no one was hurt though. As the Popemobile was approaching the junction just outside Buckingham Palace, it was met on one side...
After a huge operation by armed counter-terror officers, five street cleaners (none of whom were British) were arrested this morning after an anonymous tip off that the cleaners were planning to attack the Pontiff.However leaked information received...
Believers say "It's a miracle!" as Pope appears in Five Places at Once but Vigilant Police Soon Smell a Rat. Five alleged members of a paedophile ring are in custody today as police uncovered a plot to drive around in public dressed as the Pope in...
Pope Benedict surprised everybody, including his security retinue on his visit to Gateshead today. As part of his tour he visited Gateshead market where local stall holder, Bahja Singh has his Soap-on-a-rope stall. In honour of the visit, Singh ha...
Police were frisking monks and nuns today as crowds turned out for the Pope's first public engagement on English soil. Amid tight security, guests queued in a good-natured fashion despite fears of an unruly crowd, organisers were preparing to ask...
LONDON, England - Animal rights protesters were outside Lock & Co. Hatters in London Tuesday in force with plans to pelt anyone with fake pigs' blood who exiting the store wearing a pork pie hat. The Pope, visiting London, was not aware of the pr...
Insiders today related that Pope Benedict XVI requested to be taken to the Govan bar where popular comedy show Rab C Nesbitt is filmed. To the horror of his minders. Despite the Pope's repeated requests that he fancied a wee dram in one of Glas...
A secret dossier has been leaked onto WikiLeaks about the Pope's real plans for his visit to the UK. As part of his visit he will visit Queen Elizabeth, who is head of the Church of England, a sect of Christianity that broke away during Henry VIII's...
The head of the Roman Catholic Church's visit to England has been mired by disappointment and upset for many but the latest blow was struck by officialdom and red tape. In the United Kingdom, anyone wishing to work with children in an official cap...
After Cardinal Walter Kasper described Britain as a third world country, Pope Benedict XXX went one further by describing Britain as a huge steaming turd floating in Europe's toilet bowl. On the eve of his visit to the UK Pope Benedict, real name...
Manchester - (Missionary Position News): The Salford Escort Agency's Slapper-of-the-Year is being offered the chance of a ritual confession when the Papal circus rolls into town. Fears that the confessional might be bugged with hidden camcorder eq...
Birmingham - (Holy Shit! Mess): The notorious C of E turncoat and father of satanist Aleister Crowley John is to be beatified by his Hellfire grandson this weekend. A full-bling smoke 'n' mirrors ceremony at Hellfire Club HQ will see Pope Joe Rat...
Scotland - (Fly-By-Night News): The ancient Vatican Heirlines Tupolev-154 is an exact replica of the 30 year-old rust bucket that carried tragic Polish President Lech Kaczynski RIP in April this year. Its projected route over Scottish soil is sche...
Edinburgh - (Portents): Will Mrs Ratzinger actually show at the airport on Turdsday to welcome nutty wackjob spouse Pope Joe Ratzinger? An expert in satanic possession said today ancient curses have hexed such a meeting, citing the Turd Secret of...
Scotland - (Hitler's Dope Mess): The stench of Nazi stitch-up is rife ahead of the Vatican Mile High Club's customised Focke-Wulf Fw 190's maiden voyage to Scotland this Thursday. The arrival of Pope Josef Ratzinger and his ungodly crew of paedo-w...
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