The picture restorer from Spain who made a portrait of Christ look like a HOMO their pictures. 'We have been trying to work out for some time the true meaning of some of our paintings and objects' said curator Humprey Goose 'now we can see if any...
Proserpine Gainsborough-Halfwit visits the Sainsbury Wing to see some contemporary resonses to Ovid's poetry alongside the Venetian great... It can be soooo dull looking at nudes with boyfriends, so I wasn't looking forward to it when Dicky Featherstonehaugh-Tomsk insisted he wanted to come with me to this. Dicky's all right, but he can come across as a bit, you know, pervy. But when I ta...
Foremost British Female Artist with Attitude, Tracey Emin's latest exhibition has been hailed her most daring work yet. BBC Art Correspondent, Will Gompertz, has visited the latest works by Emin and has nothing but good words to say about it. "...
The fantasy world of evolution is celebrating following the surprise find of 100 Caravaggio sketches found in a castle in Milan. It is estimated that the haul is worth in the region of £560 million pounds. Atheist fundamentalist and evolution crac...
A bronze horse sculpted by Spanish surrealist Salvador Dali is expected to go for £400,000 at auction next week. Featuring in a sale of Impressionist and Modern Art Le cheval à la montre molle - 'The horse with the melted watch' - dates from 1980...
A man's hastily discarded lunch has become the latest star exhibit at the wacky Tate Modern art gallery. 'The physical impossibility of half-eaten pork pie in Tesco crisp bag' soon began to attract crowds after Dave Stench had to answer a call of...
A woman whose work has included projects based on Star Wars character Jabba the Hutt is one of the four artists shortlisted for this year's £25,000 Turner Prize. Performance artist Lali "Spartacus" Chetwynd joins Luke Fowler, Paul Noble and Elizab...
Fifteen people were arrested last night when Dorking Police swooped on the Our Lady Mary RC school to break up a "notorious" currency counterfeiting operation. Officers from Dorking Central Division, accompanied by dog handlers and an armed respon...
A Dorking painter is furious after once again being snubbed by a major art gallery, writes EIF News & Features Art Correspondent, Proserpine Gainsborough-Halfwit. London's Tate Britain has announced that its big autumn show this year will be t...
A local art historian and critic is among the names being touted to be the next chair of Arts Council England. Proserpine Gainsborough-Halfwit will be up against television presenter, political pundit and former Tory MP Michael Portillo, and TV mo...
London - As hoaxes go this one's expensive and may have fooled the Middle Eastern gas-rich state of Qatar's royal family into parting with $250 million of their hard-earned shekels - er...dinars! Cézanne's 'The Card Players' is one of five painted...
A 56-year-old woman allegedly caused £10,000 worth of damage in the Tate Gallery of Modern Art. She ruined an Andy Warhol painting valued at around £10m by pointing her bare arse at it and letting rip with a series of thunderous and vicious farts.
London - A list of suitable tarts, slags, slappers and hos is being considered for the topnotch gravy train position. The mystery appointee will be revealed later this week as RA officials confirmed the need for someone new to 'pimp its ass' in th...
MUNICH - Hans Snortlebuntof, a well known artist in the city, has leaked to the press that he has constructed his next work of art, to be revealed Jan. 2, 2012, entirely out of 1000 Euro bills. Three tons of them. According to investigative repor...
It's that time of the year again, where Daily Mail journalists build up a froth of anger over the absurdities of the latest winners of the Turner Prize. "It's not art!" they scream red-faced, as they futilely attempt to define what art actually is. Regardless of whether you consider it art or not, one thing is beyond doubt. Every piece ever entered into that competition is utterly shit. But why...
One of the most eagerly anticipated exhibitions ever, Leonardo Da Vinci: Painter at the Court of Milan brings nine of the Renaissance genius's paintings together for the first time. The show is a complete sell-out and queues for the few daily walk-in tickets are forming in the small hours. Proserpine Gainsborough-Halfwit joined the throng at the National Gallery... Have you ever tried to...
London - A telepathic war of words is suspected by museum curators monitoring the infamous life-sized Mitchell-Hedges crystal skull found in Belize circa 1924. The pre-Columbian Mesoamerican artefuct is thought to be 'having a mental war' with Dam...
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