Notorious Mitchell-Hedges crystal skull 'communicating evil thoughts' with Damien Hirst diamond skull: reports

Funny story written by queen mudder

Monday, 21 November 2011

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Another Mitchell-Hedges 'victim' disintegrates

London - A telepathic war of words is suspected by museum curators monitoring the infamous life-sized Mitchell-Hedges crystal skull found in Belize circa 1924.

The pre-Columbian Mesoamerican artefuct is thought to be 'having a mental war' with Damien Hirst's £50 million For The Love Of God diamond skull.

Last night a number of baguette-cut rocks began popping out of the Hirst sculpture's temporal lobe area in a classic sign of telekinetic war of attrition.

"We've see this sort of mental anguish before," Tate Modern curator Sir Monty Airbrush told reporters at lunchtime today.

"Before the Mitchell-Hedges skull was declared a 19th century fake a value of £100 million seemed conservative.

"Now it's valued around $500,000 as a curio, something that frankly beggars belief considering its rarity and the skill of craftsmen who fashioned it from precious quartz crystal rock."

Hirst's £50 million stonker is due to be exhibited in the Tate Modern's Turbine Hall next year amid international acclaim of its beauty.

The platinum and diamond piece has been talked up as a masterpiece - something that Mitchell-hedges fans find hard to swallow.

Museum of London staff may now place a state of the art tinfoil hat on the Belize crystal marvel to curb it's alleged malicious transmissions.

A replica quartz skull at the Smithsonian may also be involved in the telepathy attack after parts of it suddenly turned blue overnight.

The Damien Hirst exhibition is part of London's 2012 Cultural (sic) Olympiad and runs from 4 April to 9 September.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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