World football's governing body, FIFA, have announced they have acted upon advice given to them by Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger with regard to the current yellow card/red card system used by referees, and have decided to introduce a new-coloured car...
Arsenal midfielder Cesc Fabregas has been captured by Barcelona - and they're not letting him go. The Catalan giants refused to comment, although speculation is rife that Fabregas is being held at La Masia, an academy-cum-torture confinement for d...
Arsene Wenger revealed today that there could be a possible investment in cash into Arsenal football club from Nigerian billionaire Aliko Dangote. "I received an email this morning," Wenger said with a Gallic shrug, "it said that Mr Dangote is Nig...
After admitting that Arsenal will end their fifth season in a row without winning so much as a pissing contest, their manager, Arsene Wenger has suggested that the club should follow the example of other unsuccessful clubs, like Liverpool. "I real...
Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger, last night offered his sincerest apologies after inadvertently fielding an English player in the Champion's League match against Barcelona. The erroneous event happened in the second half when Wenger bought on substi...
The scene was set, Arsenal v. Barcelona. Wenger in a press conference. Messi in attendance. Messi's scintillating form in La Liga has led to many pundits branding him the finest footballer on the planet. However, veteran gaffer Wenger, claimed th...
Following the comments made by Chelsea's German midfield general Michael Ballack that Arsenal are far too pretty to win the premiership, Arsene Wenger has hit back claiming he is just jealous because he's an ugly German bitch. ''Ee 'as a face like...
Arsenal Manager Arsene Wenger has refuted suggestions that his teams failure to capture a trophy in almost five years is a direct result of the sale of all of his best players. "I do not think this was a wrong move. Not winning a trophy in this lo...
Arsenal Coach Arsene Wenger was full of praise for his players and club, ahead of his teams weekend fixture at Wolves. "Just because I say Van Persie is the best striker in the premiership at the moment, does not mean all our other players aren't...
Arsenal Captain Cesc Fabregas sent a chilling ultimatum to his Manager, Arsene Wenger, by claiming the French man has 48 hours to make an honest woman of him, or he will find a manager that will. "Frankly, I am sick of this. I feel the last 5 year...
Arsene Wenger will no doubt be nursing a hangover this morning after celebrating a stupendous win with Subutteo. The football manager with the Thunderbird face proved he was no puppet yesterday as he slammed home a record 13 goals. He said: "I...
Arsenal supporters are delighted that UEFA has rescinded its 2-match ban on their Croatian international Eduardo, who was accused of diving in the Champions League tie with Celtic. UEFA now suggests that the Metropolitan police should consider a...
Emmanuel Adebayor, the Manchester City striker formally of Arsenal has annoyed his former team not once or twice but four times. "How can I say, I am annoyed," admitted Wenger in a press conference afterwards. "Firstly he stamped on Robin [van Per...
As the injury curse of Arsenal Football club returns year after year like the terminal repetition of friends on satellite Television, an explanation can be finally found for why Thomas Rosicky's legs appear to be made of Cadburys Flakes and why Johan...
It's the hottest ticket in Tinseltown, the role of an ageing redeemer in Mel Gibson's upcoming movie, The Passion Of The Christ Part Two. Gibson has scoured the world in attempt to cast the lead role, until he finally saw his man whilst watching c...
Arsene Wenger, the Arsenal Manager is poised to face tough questions at the upcoming Arsenal Supporters Trust meeting. The meeting which cannot be held on school night comes on the back of another meagre season for the nicest passing footabll team...
As Arsenal supporters contemplate another successful season by coming last in the big four race and winning the lesbian version of the FA Cup, it appears Arsene Wenger is planning some changes. Abandoning his much vaunted policy of only buying pla...
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