[Washington] Raymone K. Bain announced today that Michael Jackson has finally finished scratching his spotted parts and is ready to begin working on the Hurricane Katrina Charity Single.
Royal Courts of Justice - (AssoCIAted Mess): Singer Michael Jackson may have hidden assets linked to organised crime cartels in London according to legal papers filed today by a Bahraini princelet who is suing the singer for $7 million plus damages.
Los Angeles, California - (ReUterus & Ass Mess): Singer Michael Jackson has proposed to High School Musical starlet Vanessa Hudgens.
Rothley, Leicestershire - (Ass Mess): Speculation is rife in the UK that singer Michael Jackson has offered to pay the legal defence costs for the McCanns who may be facing extradition to Portugal 'as early as Monday' according to police sour...
LA - Lindsay Lohan gets arrested for drinking and Paris Hilton portrays the Prison matron who comes to poor Lindsay's rescue. In the first part of the suite, this new age ballet shocks the audience as a Mercedes bolts onto stage and careens into...
Plastic faced Holocaust denier, Michael Jackson has opened a child-minding center right in the heart of Beverly Hills. "It's for deprived rich kids", squealed Jackson, "it's a plac...
Royal Courts of Justice, London - (Law Briefs News): Singer Michael Jackson is being sued in London's Royal Courts of Justice by the Emir of Bahrain's son Prince Abdullah over the return of a master demo tape the two made together in 2005 fea...
LOS ANJILEEZ (Defecated News) - He's getting on a bit, can't make decent music anymore and does not molest boys. Broke pop king Michael Jackson has been in hiding since being cleared of child abuse charges, and many...
Ron Paul, not to be outdone by President Bush, made arrangements to have his own colonoscopy done, even though he had one only 6 months ago. During his absence, he has designated his new running mate Michael Jackson to take charge of his campaign whi...
Tokyo (Hair-force barbers): It's official, Michelle Jackson , aka Miss Saudi Arabia-1956, is going to perform in the reunion concert of the "lice girls" in Tokyo this y...
CCN (Crazy Cal News) - Alaska - The Corrupt Bastards Club, which has been meeting in Alaska near TheSpoof.com writer Gnarly Erik's home, has found itself so busy with court hearings that they have decided to open...
(MUSICMAN PRESS) In a surprising event T.V. giant Rosie O'Donnell took a week off from debating useless topics with 'other know it alls' who actually know less than her, if that's humanly possible.
CCN (Crazy Cal News) - London - In an effort to gain the title Sir Michael Jackson, Michael Jackson has joined the military and bribed Tony Blair $1,000,000 pounds Sterling. Michael Jackson didn't realize that Tony Blair was on his way out becau...
CCN (Crazy Cal News) - Las Vegas - Michael Jackson's lawyers dropped a bid to block an auction of a warehouse full of Jackson's belongings. It was a failed business venture that wound Jackson up in the bankruptcy court.
London - (Ass Mess): Ex-royal wannabe Kate Middleton is to audition for the remake of the 1915 American silent short film A Woman Scorned in what has been billed as a £5 million movie contract brokered by connections of Quentin Tarrantino.
A special cinematic milestone was passed yesterday, when Cheeta the chimp, the star of the early Tarzan films, celebrated his 100th birthday.
A new "Pop Dynasty" television series to star the Jackson family will air soon on CBS. Members of the Jackson 5 will star as judges to help select a new musical "family" much the same way American Idol selects a single singer. M...
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