Dotty old Ringo Starr 68, bravely, foiled falling victim to the deadly duo of Jonathan Ross and Russell Brand. When 'Scouser' Starr appeared on Ross's programme, 'Friday Night with Jonathan Ross'. Millions saw 'sly' Ross begging and harassing the...
Funny, chubby women Katie and Jo have decided to drop the surname "Brand", in case the public believe they are related to disgraceful 'weirdo' Russell Brand. These girls like their food Katie and Jo released a statement after breakfast this...
Russell Brand's Booky Looky Kooky Wook will be used, as both reading material and toilet paper by Bottywotty Council, in the West Midlands. Local Councillor Arthur Askey said "We found toilet paper for our public conveniences a bit pricey. Then s...
The unfunny, overpaid, walking piece of frozen urine Russell Brand has been 'branded a giant petri dish' by a drunken street-walker. 'He gave me gonorrhea says doxy' Commom 'harlot' Sharon Macall stated "While I have never met the repulsively...
Doctors have asked the general public for calm and patience, when reacting to the recent spate of old entertainers talking shit on the internet. They can't help it. IT'S A REAL DISEASE. Ringo Starr has recently decided he HATED people who write to...
Santa Claus has had enough. He has told children (who are our future), to piss off, in a 'Ringo Starr' styled unprovoked ranting tirade. Self-centred kiddies of the world, were shocked to see a grumpy, bearded, drunken, and tired-looking 'Santa...
In a rare transatlantic and european move. Postal-workers world-wide have refused to deliver mail or and any objects to Ringo Starr's many houses, mansions, castles, council flats, tree-houses, igloos and tee-pees. Pierre Lavroom, Mr Starr's Frenc...
The resting place of Palestinian 'funny-man' Yasser Arafat, was swamped with billions of fan letters destined for his twin brother Ringo Starr today. Ringo Starr told fans to "go forth and multiply with a spiky rusty iron rod", in a shocking inter...
The Daily Scum can reveal Richard Madefortv regularly beats his screen wife Judy with a string of sausages. The obnoxious despot also throws their baby out of the window at regular intervals. TV medical mad-man, Dr Harold Shipmam says "Richard is...
Warren 'Potsie' Webber, the simple-witted crooner from the 1970's, hit sitcom "Happy Days is the U.S' most prolific serial killer. The Daily Scum can reveal that 'greasy' Potsie is the 'Phone-Book' Killer, who chose his victims from the phone-book...
Fictional TV "dad" Mr Drummond from Diff'rent Strokes was arrested last night for, 'stroking' kids, in all sorts of different and unsavoury ways. Mr 'D' is fictional dad to Kimberly, Willis and 5 inch funny boy 'Arnold'. A lawyer acting on beha...
Dung-encrusted, disgraced, deadly, dire, deaf man Gary Glitter wobbled to the park on his wicked wonky legs to buy a bottle of milk today the "Daily Scum" can reveal. "Gary Glitter to be hung drawn and quartered, his deaf-aid will be stamped on"...
Scientists at the John Denver University, West Virginia claim that comics, idiots and half-wits, live on average fifty years longer than the 'serious tossers' of the world. "Paul Newman is dead" Professor Pitkin said " the recent death of Paul...
Scientists from West Viginia, Mountain Mamma University, have conclusively proved that 'tabloid journalists' are almost entirely composed of 'scum matter' it was revealed yesterday in the October Journal of British Physiology and Necrology. "Count...
'Billionaire professional gossip' Oprah has been named the new Grand Wizzard of the Ku Klux Klan. In a bid to bring the Klan into the 21st Century the white supremacists have recruited Oprah to change their image. Rachael Penandgraft National s...
The Spoof can reveal professional fatty and lay-about Phil Jupitus, is actually the Giant Gas planet 'Jupiter'. For years the general public wondered where he came from and what the hell he does, but our undercover reporter has discovered the iden...
Palmer-Violet Sing 61, from Birmingham, Alabama, USA is to be honored by the Queen for services to turban wearing, turban tying and being called Palmer-Violet Sing. "Chuckle Brothers Knighted For Being Brothers" In a new initiative by the gove...
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