'Billionaire professional gossip' Oprah has been named the new Grand Wizzard of the Ku Klux Klan.
In a bid to bring the Klan into the 21st Century the white supremacists have recruited Oprah to change their image.
Rachael Penandgraft National spokesperson for the "Knights of the Round Table Klan" said "I never really watch TV, but if I do watch the ZOG Box, I always watch Oprah, I am even a member of her book club. So while the average nigra is an abomination unto the Lord and all good Christian white folk....Oprah is not the same, she is just peachy keen".
Not to be outdone the Aryan Brotherhood have named Miss Winfrey 'man of the year'. Tattooed thug Jason Lynch-Boy Carter told the scoop "while Oprah is not white or a man, we felt she had all the attributes of a sodomising white male psychopath jailed for life".
Pastor Thomas Rob from the 'Knights In White Satin Party' said "the first thing I will do when Oprah comes to work next monday, is ask that 'beyatch' for a couple of bucks .....I am 'crack whore poor'... yes-siree, sure am. I am living off klan membership fees and living on welfare, like a wet-back"
In the UK, 'BNP lardy-arse' Nick Griffin is now thinking of making Asian funny-woman Meera Syal his chief admimistrator, to tick the boxes on the equal opportunities list. The droopy-faced, nationalist said " I am not a racist or a bigot, leave me alone..... and I have no intention of calling Ms Syal, 'curry fanny' if she chooses to work alongside me. My face also is 'not' melting like candle wax he claimed"