Conservative talk show host, author, and defender of Christmas Bill O'Reilly announced today that he is legally changing his first name to Jesus Christ.
Washington, D.C. - After a month-long nationwide search involving the FBI, CIA, NSA, Homeland Security and local law enforcement agencies, the bird who attacked President Bush with a stealth shit bomb has been apprehended.
Los Angeles, CA - A well-known Hollywood talent agency has confirmed today that it is filling an order for 100 extras to appear at a White House function on July 6. The company would not reveal the purpose of the event, but July 6 is President Bush&#...
After a series of grizzly attacks of swimmers along America's East Coast beaches by mammoth, flesh-hungry plankton, the Army issued a statement today denying that the mutant sea creatures were linked to the dumping of 64 million pounds of nerve a...
Senator Joseph Lieberman has called on the Bush administration to begin a military assault on Vatican City immediately. Lieberman told reporters he was apoplectic with anger over Pope Benedict's discussion of the "worrying situation in Iraq&...
Washington D.C. - At the upcoming G-8 summit in Heiligendamm, Germany, President Bush and and Russian President Vladimir Putin have set aside an evening that they claim will settle a number of sensitive issues separating the two countries.
In a commencement day appearance before hundreds of graduating cadets at West Point, Vice President Dick Cheney used his speech to attack the Geneva Convention, the U.S. Constitution and democracy in general.
Inspired by her testimony before Congress, Playboy editors have reached an agreement with former Justice Department attorney Monica Goodling to feature her in a section highlighting women of Washington D.C. sans clothes.
President Bush announced today that he has appointed former Congressman Newt Gingrich to be the nation's first Blame Czar. According to the White House, the primary function of the new position will be to assess blame for the administration's...
In what is interpreted by many as the curtain call for Alberto Gonzales, the AG has been invited to go quail hunting with Vice President Dick Cheney this month.
Washington D.C. - After years of speculation by the media, the White House finally acknowledged today that George Bush is indeed high on crack cocaine. Until today, the oft asked question, "Is Bush on crack?" was met with scoffing denials o...
Attorney General Alberto Gonzales, appearing before Congress today to answer questions about fired U.S. attorneys, claimed that he does not remember his own name. When committee chairman John Conyers tried to begin questioning, Gonzales did not respo...
The recent MSNBC Republican debate among presidential hopefuls lacked any fireworks among the leading contenders, but it allowed those farther back in the pack an opportunity to set themselves apart.
HAVANA, CUBA - Seventy-five U.S. citizens in five overcrowded yachts landed on Cuba's Santa Maria Beach yesterday seeking political asylum. The Americans are asking the Cuban government for sanctuary, claiming they are political refugees escaping...
Concerned about the morale of troops fighting in Iraq after Congresses' failed attempt to set a timetable for withdrawal, President Bush sent a message to American servicemen and women assuring them that the fight against terrorism would continue...
Washington, D.C. - The White House announced today that it is naming conservative pundit Ann Coulter to be the nation's first War Czarette. The fiery right-wing commentator and author has accepted the appointment, and responded to questions about...
Washington, D.C. - In a rare public appearance, George Bush's good twin Cecil held a press conference today pleading with his evil other to resign.
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