Bush reassures troops: You'll be in Iraq until hell freezes over

Funny story written by John Andreini

Wednesday, 2 May 2007

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Concerned about the morale of troops fighting in Iraq after Congresses' failed attempt to set a timetable for withdrawal, President Bush sent a message to American servicemen and women assuring them that the fight against terrorism would continue.

"I know that many of you are rightly concerned that you will be sent home to families and loved ones before we have conquered the enemy. Well, let me tell you, that will not happen on my watch. In fact, it will never happen.

"We will not surrender. If you have to stay in Iraq for the next 50 years, by God, that's what you'll do. You are right to wonder what the defeatists are thinking when they cry, 'Bring home the troops. Bring home the troops.' Do they want us to fail? Do they care more about your safety and will to live then they do about the never-ending pursuit of terrorists?

"You can count on me, as your Commander and Chief, to keep you in harms way for as long as it takes. Remember, you're fighting so my daughters don't have to."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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