Cheney to take Gonzales "hunting"

Funny story written by John Andreini

Wednesday, 16 May 2007

image for Cheney to take Gonzales "hunting"
"Run rabbit, run rabbit, run, run, run..."

In what is interpreted by many as the curtain call for Alberto Gonzales, the AG has been invited to go quail hunting with Vice President Dick Cheney this month.

The VP's office denies rumors that Gonzales will be 'retired' during the hunting excursion, but it did hint at the possibility that someone in the party would not return to his position. "Look," said a source from Cheney's staff. "The VP is a terrible shot. Everyone in the party is in mortal danger, not just Mr. Gonzales. However, the Attorney General has many quail-like characteristics that may put him at particular risk."

For his part, Mr. Gonzales issued a statement saying he was honored to be invited by Mr. Cheney. "I am flattered that the Vice President asked me to go hunting with him. I know I can learn a lot from an experienced hunter like him. He even sent me a little quail hat in honor of the event, which I will proudly wear during our outing."

Cheney's office announced that this year the VP would be hunting quail with an M-240 military machine gun that fires 200-600 rounds per minute. "We want the VP to have every advantage in the field. He doesn't have to be a crack shot with this weapon."

Several medical field units will be stationed near the hunting sight.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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