ATLANTA (ABSNN) - Alana Thompson (Honey Boo Boo) and her mother June Shannon (Fat Demonic Hell Pig) are the stars of TLC's Toddlers and Tiaras. They visited a television station in Atlanta, the home of The Learning Channel, to discuss their upcoming...
There has been a mix up in the annual presidential pardoning of a Thanksgiving turkey, as a White House aide unwittingly pardoned Turkey the country instead of an actual turkey. It is, as yet, unclear what exactly Turkey has been pardoned of, but...
In a stunning development yesterday, President Barack Obama has declined to grant clemency to Tom Turkey. The White House press secretary read a written statement which said in part, "I know this decision is going to make me unpopular, but there sim...
Shortly after a 21 pound, limburger cheese-stuffed turkey was delivered, still steaming to the floor of the U.S. House of Representatives, a Wisconsin man who was initially identified to the press as "the terrorist", was arrested and is held without...
Washington - Cosmic wizardry is at work for Capitol Hill's very own Salvator Mundi skywatch sources claimed today. Thanksgiving sees a brilliant eclipsed new moon with powerful angles to Great Awakener Uranus, a stationary/retrograde Mercury and a...
Deluthions, GA. - Fresh off His six percent increase in the national poll numbers, Newt Gingrich giddily announced today that He has achieved His life long dream of cornering the turkey head market. "Ever since I was sixteen years old I've ha...
London - She's been banished from Tuesday's glittering reception for Turkey President Abdullah Gul due to new bulimia attack fears that Kate Middleton will end up chucking up all over extinguished - er...distinguished! - guests. "The Queen just ca...
HARFOLD, Vt.--In a study released today by Harfold State College, researchers found that the things for which college students are thankful this holiday season depend greatly on gender. Of all women interviewed, 72.3% are thankful for their famil...
Thumbing their beaks at town residents who had complained about their presence in the community, a flock of about 100 wild turkeys added insult to injury last night by throwing themselves a huge Thanksgiving feast in the park at the town center.
With the announcement of getting an early jump on the seasonal shopping season; Kohl's, Target and Macy's hope to kickstart "Black Friday" by opening very late in the evening on Thanksgiving, Named Black Friday because the day is a quasi benchmark fo...
Washington DC: The share price of McDonald's Corporation has doubled on the NYSE. Market analysts believe the jump in shareholder value was a consequence of President Obama's latest executive order. The president's executive order sends Thanksgivi...
Turkey that was supposedly pardoned by president Bush ends up at Guantanamo Bay. I have learned from sources too vague and obscure to be viewed as credible by the main stream media that the turkey that was originally picked to be pardoned by president Bush at the annual White House Thanksgiving day ceremony has instead been the victim of a Homeland Security/CIA secret rendition transfer to Guan...
Flower, a turkey pardoned by President Bush in November of 2007, is now accused of murdering a family of 5 in upper New York State. The Norton family of Rowling, New York, were enjoying a quiet Sunday afternoon at home when the alleged crime took pla...
Harry Caster, through his attorney C. Brewton Collier revealed today that a family Thanksgiving Dinner was ruined when a "breast implant" was discovered in their turkey. "It was devastating for the family," Collier stated, "You can just imagine, t...
The Monday after Thanksgiving 2010 could be considered "Cyber Monday" because it registered the highest online spending ever in history. Consumers charged over 1 billion dollars in online purchases, surpassing by 16 percent the sales revenues figures...
Now that another Thanksgiving has come and gone and the last of the turkey meat is being picked from the carcass, you may be wondering if there is anything you can do with the carcass besides putting it in the trash. And the answer would be a resounding yes! Here are 5 awesome uses for that dried out leftover turkey carcass: 1. Use as a vessel for a birthday piñata. Real piñatas cost an arm...
TSA announced that holiday traveling went smoothly because free alcohol was given to passengers before every frisking. "Alcohol has the power to make painful things feel not so painful. Sure, a few people might have a higher tolerance to alcohol...
Get Spoof News in your email inbox!
