5 Awesome Uses for Leftover Turkey Carcasses

Funny story written by Charpa93

Tuesday, 30 November 2010

image for 5 Awesome Uses for Leftover Turkey Carcasses
Hurry up and eat. I need that carcass!

Now that another Thanksgiving has come and gone and the last of the turkey meat is being picked from the carcass, you may be wondering if there is anything you can do with the carcass besides putting it in the trash. And the answer would be a resounding yes!

Here are 5 awesome uses for that dried out leftover turkey carcass:

1. Use as a vessel for a birthday piñata. Real piñatas cost an arm and a leg. Having that dried out turkey carcass hanging around can really save you a bundle on your kid's next birthday party. Just tape up the gaping holes in the side, turn it upside down, and fill the butt-end with candies. Then paste some construction paper all over the thing, tie on a rope and watch the fun as the kids whack it to see what falls out. As an added bonus, keep the turkey legs as sticks to whack the carcass.

2. Turn it into a decorative table topper. Since Christmas is just around the corner, why not paint that dried out carcass red, dress it up with bows and lights and use it as a table decoration for your Christmas dinner celebration? Paste a few sprigs of pine on the sides and it will not only look good, but it will make the place smell nice and pretty, and mask the lingering odor of rancid turkey that may still be wafting from the bones.

3. Make an unusual light fixture out of it. If you have an old swag light fixture that never got sold at the garage sale and you don't know what to do with it, you're in luck. Here's an idea that will have your house guests green with envy. Take that dried out old turkey carcass and cover the gaping holes with pieces of brightly colored cellophane wrap. Fit the metal frame of a lampshade onto the butt-end of the turkey carcass and attach it to a chain and light cord that you have already assembled to run directly over your dining room table. Switch it on, and voila! you have perfect ambiance for those special family meals.

4. Use as a cactus planter. All you need to turn an old dried out turkey carcass into a useful cactus planter is to tape some water-resistant material, such as old plastic placemats over the gaping holes in the side of the carcass and the butt-end of the carcass, making sure that it is leveled off so that it sits upright. You can either stick decorative stickers on the carcass such as sunflower or NASCAR decals all around it, or just paint it a nice terra cotta color, fill it with dirt and rocks and then plant your cactus into the neck of the turkey carcass. What a beautiful piece of pseudo-pottery to add to your backyard garden. Be sure to bring the cactus planter inside when the temperature dips below freezing.

5. Turn it into a piece of art. For decades, artists have been painting cow skulls with various designs and selling them for a handsome profit to rich ranchers who then hang them on their fence posts and even on the walls in their haciendas. So, it's time we started a new trend. Old dried out turkey carcass art pieces. If you don't have any artistic talent, then it is recommended that you not try this last idea. However, if you have a family member or friend who can draw and paint, then ask them to assist you in creating these one-of-a-kind masterpieces. After the carcasses are painted and glossed over, you can decide whether to sell them as table-top art or wall sconces. The possibilities are pretty much endless.
Or, you can just chuck it in the garbage.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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