Former president Bush's pardoned Thanksgiving turkey was victim of CIA secret rendition!

Funny story written by wordwaymike

Saturday, 24 September 2011

Turkey that was supposedly pardoned by president Bush ends up at Guantanamo Bay.

I have learned from sources too vague and obscure to be viewed as credible by the main stream media that the turkey that was originally picked to be pardoned by president Bush at the annual White House Thanksgiving day ceremony has instead been the victim of a Homeland Security/CIA secret rendition transfer to Guantanamo Bay!

The turkey, who will be here-after referred to as "Tom" to hide his true identity, was incorrectly listed as a "person of interest" after his country of origin status was confused with his type of critter status, by members of Bush's crazier than a sh!t house rat, inner circle of apologists, spin doctors, and psych-ops dis-information team members.

Thinking erroneously that Tom was from Turkey, instead of just being one, he was lured to an out of the way location on president Bush's ranch. That is located on the outskirts of Crawford, Texas. Under the illusion of being a part of a photo-op with Bush.

Even though Tom wasn't all that enamored with Bush, or his policies, he agreed to be seen in the president's presence after he was told that this year, for the first time in American history, a sitting U.S. president was going to pardon EVERY turkey that had been born in the U.S. of A.

As soon as Tom was out of the sight of every credible main-stream media source (Fox News had a full crew on hand to aid in the Bush ordered deception) he was tackled, hooded, injected with psychotropic drugs, and Butterball Brand meat moisturizing tenderizers and flavor enhancers.

Then he was plucked, and trucked to a nearby military base and placed on a military transport plane destined for Guantanamo. He was listed on the cargo's manifest as processed meat by-product. A description that was prophetic of the fate that was awaiting poor Tom shortly after his arrival at Guantanamo.

I will spare you the full rundown as relates to the many different interrogation techniques that Tom was subjected to. But Tom's hellish end was finally achieved somewhere between the start and finish of 8 hours of high voltage, non-stop electro-shock.

The monsters that subjected Tom to such despicable indignities wouldn't desist until every last shred of his succulent, tender, and extremely flavorful meat had dropped off the bones of his cruelly treated carcass.

I believe this to be the most foul end that any fowl has ever suffered.

I doubt if the full story of Tom's last few hours on this planet will ever come to light. Mainly because when Tom's tormentors learned that word of his barbaric end had traveled beyond the walls of Guantanamo they immediately ate the evidence.

Oh! The humanity!

The moral of my story about Tom the turkey is this;

Never trust one turkey to do right by another.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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