White faced seventies electro pop sensation, Gary Numan, out of Tubeway Army, best known for his 1979 hit single 'Are Friends Electric,' has announced that he will be forming a pub quiz team down his West Sussex local, the Android Ploughman, somewher...
Prince William was unhappy to learn on his wedding night that his bride, Kate Middleton, was not a virgin. From the lobby pub of a local hotel, he complained vocally to other drinkers about his wedding night blues. He told one one group of men wi...
There has been a strong reaction over a pub sign which depicts the Queen with a tattoo on her arm. The sign has been hanging outside the Queens Arms pub in Acomb, just outside Hexham, since the pub was refurbished. "Most distasteful and inappro...
Those crazy Japanese have done it again and invented another craze that's set to send the UK into a frenzy. It's set to revolutionise pubs and Clubs up and down the land and in these hard times it's just the tonic we need. Businessman and entrepr...
A drunk person caused quite a stir in a local boozer this evening, by consistently swearing and not standing up straight. The drunk, a young woman of demure stature was enjoying her evening, when she suddenly and unexpectedly had 'one over the eig...
The Protractor and Angle bar in Oxford has seen many famous luminaries pass through its doors in its thirty-five year history. Early on, it was clear that these luminaries were discussing many a deep and insightful topic over their lunchtime and even...
The clientele of a pub in Norwich, Suffolk, have allegedly passed up the chance to find out the meaning of life, and the answers to numerous other unanswerable questions, because they chose to ignore what was being said due to the fact that it was de...
In an effort to save the huge amounts of money, wasted each year in England on Ambulance crews and petrol, used in fetching booze fuelled malcontents to hospitals, the NHS trust are taking the unusual step of installing a fully staffed Emergency Care...
Rothbury, Northumberland - As Raoul Moat engaged police in a tense stand-off, some three hundred yards away, it appeared to be party time in Rothbury. As Mr Moat held a sawn-off shotgun to his own head, Friday night revellers packed The Strangler'...
Local man, Martin Shuttlecock, currently recovering from a beer wound to the thumb, today ventured out of the house with a dual purpose. Part one of today's expedition involved delivering a sick note to his employer. Shuttlecock was not warmly received, but he didn't really care, because part two of the expedition involved a visit to a country inn in most pleasant surroundings. Like a river,...
I found myself in the White Lion off Stockport Road after missing my bus home, and with an hour or two to kill. The exterior of the property first attracted me to it, as it had a roof and it was raining. There was an advertised beer garden to let me know that all the ales would be organically grown on the premises; apparently they showed every Manchester United match, although I discovered later t...
A new guide claims that Britain's national sport Pub Darts could soon become extinct. The Cockney Alcoholic's Handbook reckons that dartboards are vanishing from London pubs faster than the boozed-up brain cells of their "knees up Mother Brown" Ma...
It's been a terrible weekend for Chelsea and England captain John Terry as a cloud hovers over his suitability to lead the England team into the World Cup Finals in South Africa following widespread publication of an alleged affair with ex-teammate W...
A man in Bracknell has taken his local watering hole to court over alleged misleading information of a drink he was served. The Blue Boar served Daniel Wagstaff a rum and coke at approximately 9:37pm on Friday night. The barmaid asked if he would...
Part One It was a private club. The kind you might find down a dark alley in the warehouse district of San Francisco, but not as outwardly flamboyant as the Trocadero might be on a Wednesday night. Members knew it only as the "Skoob and Thistle", slightly reminiscent of a small Scottish pub replete with solid brick exterior walls and a single, windowless, hardwood door stained in walnut brown...
In an attempt to cut down on alcohol fuelled violence the government revealed its latest plan to move pubs into police stations so as to cut out the fuss of travelling to make arrests. Drinkers will be handcuffed upon entry and made to sit in loc...
J.D. Witheredspoon, the pub magnate and godfather of cheep booze slammed the government today for not doing more for drunk people. In a speech made at "The Moon In Old Bank", one of his newest pubs, Mr Witheredspoon called for more to be done. "T...
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