Living In Texas and the Florida Panhandle is difficult enough, what with all the heat and Mexicans, but people in these Deliverance-like rural towns have something else to bitch about: Feral hogs. Elisha Cuthbert? Yeah, she got totally fat! Nam...
Festive plans for a Hawaiian Christmas dinner and family celebration were dampened today when President Barry Obama backed out of a state sponsored Luau planned in his honor. Citing dietary considerations, a mandate from wife Michelle who continue...
U.S. commodities markets were shocked over the news this afternoon about the pending merger between livestock producing giant, Cargill, with makeup powerhouse, Revlon. In perhaps the most unlikely of partnerships, pork futures rose sharply in heavy...
An early-years toy shop chain has banned toy pigs from its autumn farm yard collection. This follows fears amongst company executives that extremists would be offended by the toys. David Late-Starter, CEO of the chain, said "We have had some probl...
A British high street store has banned all piggies, toys and real one's too! The store, the Easy Learning Centre, thought that by banning piggies it would stop upsetting Muslims and Jews who tend to believe the poor piggy is filthy, dirty, uncouth...
Just to set the record straight, it was the oink, oink kind of pigs, not the human variety, that gathered in New York City's Grand Central Station last night to protest bacon soda, a new product now offered for sale online. Commuters were sta...
UK pork eaters are being warned to avoid the fatty, pumped up with hormones, meat? Three people have died in the UK and many more have fallen ill with the porky transmitted bug, hepatitis E. At first nutritional experts thought it was due to pork...
This thing makes noises when I press the butty-boos. Beep beep. Meep meep. Dangle-langel-loo. Turn that key? I cannot. I have no hands. I have little pigs trotters. Oink oink. I sit at the back of Mammy pigs cart and pretend to be Farmer Tom. I wave at the cows and the sheep and say "Toodle-oo". They wave back with their tails and sing a happy tune. The fools. If only they...
Emails, text messages, folders and files, They just organise your life in measure of toils, But a pig in the muck lives happy and free Grunting in poo-poo is more fun, you'll agree. Oinky snort Timetables, wall charts, meetings and strategies I'd much rather slop about up to my knees, So why bother with late nights and all of that stress, When you could be a piglet and wallow in mess.
Britain's last surviving coalminer, stunning Emma Czikai, has today announced plans to sue Simon Cowell for £30m lost earnings due to her failing to pass a recent Britain's Got Talent audition. Despite Czikai having the looks, voice and personalit...
A series of debates were scheduled by the pigs and Snowball urged construction of the windmill claiming it would boost production and ease the workload of the commune but Napoleon opposed it. The animals cheered the idea and worked even harder than before. Catch up: Part 1 Part 2 When it was obvious that Napoleon was losing the support of the farm animals he unleashed his pup raised pack of...
The pigs became the conscience of the other animals and were led by Snowball Brown and David Napoleon along with a sycophant Nick Squealer who urged the other animals to embrace the new Tenets of Animalism with his eloquent grasp of voice while hiding his personal agenda. Catch up: Part 1 Their rise to power was made possible from the reflective and philosophical Old Major Blair whose prema...
The simplicity and blessed routine of the family farm took a hideous turn outside of Edinburgh when details emerged of an incredible event giving new meaning to hostile takeover. The end result was that a Donkey by the name of Benjamin Orwell Falkes was euthanized in response to a rampage that left a menagerie of dead beasties in its wake. The harsh reaction and quick manner of his disposition...
Local Pig, Percival the Pig, 2 3/4, has been displaying such good humour lately with regard to his new shed of crap, that he has described himself as quite literally being as happy as a pig in sh*t. "I'm full of beans. And Brussels sprouts. And ca...
SAN FRANCISCO, California - When a pig farmer turned chef named Bob Kuleto broke the mold, setting slow braised pig tails in a gelatin mold, he had hoped to delight San Francisco food patrons eager for something new with his latest twist on classic T...
Victoria Beckham has reputedly put a £1,400 deposit on two micro pigs as a Christmas present for husband David. Local farmer Farmer Palmer, whose land adjoins the Beckhams fortress 'Beckingham Palace', told our reporter to, "Gerrof moi f****n land...
Border officials have reported that Mexican pig smugglers are resorting to desperate measures following the world wide swine flu pandemic . With the new surveillance and security measures along the border, the smugglers are finding it increasingly d...
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