Thousands of pensioners are terrified of their gas and elctricity bills following reports of unprovoked assaults. The first case was reported last January when Mr Pulcifer Threadknockit, of Norwich, was seriously injured by his bill from Eastern E...
Sturgeon Bay - The peace and quiet of this small tourist city was shattered this morning when a group of radical squirrels with ties to El Kayda launched a suicide attack against a power substation on the city's west side, plunging half the city int...
Amid reports that France only has a measly ten days worth of fuel left, it comes as no surprise that the French Premier has discovered an alternative means to powering cars in France. Sarkozy is now dishing out "USB Powerpoints" which will power h...
ECOVATIONS, an Obama stimulus-backed company in North Carolina specializing in locating new energy sources, announced today that they had located a massive new energy source in Chile, near the site of the recent mine disaster. The new gas, called...
British Gas has teamed up with local water authorities to utilise sewage farms to make gas. Sewage is stirred and aerated and methane gas is made by the action of bacteria. The amount of solid waste produced by each person each year can supply eno...
Borrowing technology invented in the UK, President Obama announced today a break thru in combating Global Warming by appearing at a ribbon cutting ceremony at a brand new Sewage Treatment Plant off the West Wing which he said will cut the country's...
A large London borough is to encourage residents to compost the dead bodies of relatives at home instead of sending them for burial or cremation. The council cemetery is full and burning bodies creates large amounts of carbon dioxide which 'the Lo...
According to a news release today, all that government land set aside for wind and solar energy is setting empty. "They have had years to begin and no one has built a thing", stated one observer. "Not one light bulb has been lit as far as I can se...
Scientists are excited about the strong possibility that wind power will be the next big failure in the list of alternative energy sources. "We've had quite a few duds" said Professor Heinz Bitstein of the Berkeley College of Accountanc...
Cabinet Minister Chris Huhne, the Energy Secretary, has proved that he's got energy in abundance, by carrying on an extra-marital sex affair with a former PR worker. Sources say that Huhne was caught out by alert press hawks as he entertained his...
Energy companies, like banks are famous for brown-nosing the government to meet their objectives. Not long ago of course gas and electricity were government run but since they have been sold off to europe, Fritz and Pierre have learnt that 'preaching...
Former US Nuclear Energy Secretary, James Schlesinger, became the first person to end up as a court-yard light post. Mr Schlesinger, who died suddenly last week, had strongly advocated the harnessing of human radiation sources, and had made prior...
Gordon Brown went live on Sky News this evening to announce that the next NuLabour administration will ban Giant windmills. Plans are hastily being drawn up to replace Britain's present nuclear power stations with Diesel powered ones to ensure tha...
The mainstream media and cable news channels reported two stories last night with the same caption: "Drill Baby Drill". As President Obama announced a program for drilling off shore which was in direct opposition to his stand on the issue in the...
Scientists have today announced that they have invented a new device that converts the light of the moon into energy that can be used to recharge batteries. The device that looks like a small radio with an aerial, picks up the energy from the moo...
Fireflies, or lightning bugs, are being touted by Al Gore as the new green home lighting system for the southern U.S.A. According to Gore, the bioluminescent bugs are common in the south and could easily be caught by any ten year old boy. "I use...
British Gas, the UK's biggest gas and electricity provider gave details of a mammoth 58% increase in pre-tax profits yesterday, denying "epically taking the utter piss out of their customers by comprehensively failing to pass on the collapse in whole...
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