Heisenberg's quantum principles have been used to make the "Decahedral" processor chips in the new "faster than light" computers which will be available for Christmas. Predictably Britain's James Bond and the C.I.A. have ordered one each from Amazio...
In a press release today, the Cleveland Clinic in conjunction with several other teaching hospitals around the country announced that they had successfully implanted I-Pads in human fetus! "What is amazing," said Dr. T. J. McCorkle of The Clevela...
Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. Sometimes I'm bored and don't do my job right. I'm guilty of the following bad deeds: -- Just to foul up the works, I often grab up some non-spam emails and refuse to let them out of my clutches. I enjoy the confusion, scheduling conflicts, and pandemonium that results. Yes! -- My computer owner is obnoxious and full of himself, so last week I let a lo...
Investigation has revealed the DOS or denial of service attacks recently experienced by The Spoof were the work of an international gang named FECAL. This acronym stands for frequent efforts to collude against levity, the group's "mission," leadin...
A new computer program called "SIMILAR2" has been devised by a leading publishing agency in London. Arnold Galbraith, the inventor, and rumoured to be a 33rd Degree Freemason whose father was allegedly a Jesuit priest in charge of Vatican Publicity, told our "Nabbed" reporter: "We developed SIMILAR2 for our own writers. Basically, all writing is a matter of ideas, so we figured to help people...
Internet-obsessive Steven Diceham revealed his fears today that he might run out of things to read on the internet by as early as January 2015. "with the recent purchase of my new internet phone and unlimited wireless at home - I have been reading a...
Apple MacPherson have uploaded a fix for O.S. 12 "Prairie Dog" which appears to be causing Scotsmen to "freeze" and require cold reboots. Apple MacPherson have denied any problems are linked to its new operating system and claim the new download is...
Washington D.C. - An epidemic of hard drive crashes is sweeping this city and, for the first time in history, the number has exceeded the total number of car crashes that have occurred within the city limits since 2011. It is truly uncanny how man...
Arlington, VA - The American Psychiatric Association (APA) has officially recognized "Software Dementia" as a legitimate mental illness and, as such, recommends the condition be covered by health insurance providers and be included under the American...
Redmond, WA - Microsoft Corporation was on the defensive today after an independent software research group released its findings that Microsoft's Windows operating systems contain a hidden 'girl detector.' The existence of the girl detector confi...
MOSCOW - At first Russia stated emphatically that they had no idea what the government of Brazil was talking about when they said that Russia had hacked into their national computer system. But after electronic DNA was taken from some of the file...
LA PAZ, Bolivia - Reports coming out of the South American country of Bolivia report that President Montero Santa Cantina is extremely furious with the Russian government. It seems that El Presidente has learned that Russian operatives were able t...
SILICONE VALLEY, CA -- Trying to recover from consumers' backlash concerning the computer giant's threat to replace human beings with robots by 2030, Google has released 8,000 of its prototypical wearable Glass, a system resembling eyeglasses that ca...
MOSCOW - Vodkavich, the Russian national news agency has stated that President Putin has instructed his Director of Computers Edward Snowden to perform a document investigation on an American talk show host. Putin told Snowden to go into the NSA a...
Remember Y2K? Throughout 1999, the world was held in worried limbo based on the idea that at midnight on December 31, the sky would, literally, come crashing down around them. This was based on the concern that computer operating systems that ran everything from space satellites to large airliners would freak out because there was no programmed year 2000 for it to roll into. Instead, they w...
New Delhi: Yesterday evening Baljit Singh Dhillon, an employee at a chicken factory in the city, was admitted in No Cure Hospital and received one and a half stiches on his right hand. Your fearless reporter was sent to the hospital to take a stoc...
MOSCOW - Russia's Vodkavich News Agency is reporting that President Putin has stated that he is proud of the excellent job that American Edward Snowden has done for the Russian government. President Putin appointed Snowden to be his national direc...
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