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Funny story: Portsmouth To Merge With Southampton

Portsmouth To Merge With Southampton

Crisis hit Premier club Portsmouth have announced that they plan to merge with local neighbours Southampton. The cost of maintaining two football teams on the South coast has proved too much and insiders believe that a merger is the only solution.

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Funny story: Government to Bail Out Pompey

Government to Bail Out Pompey

In a shock twist to the dark comedy surrounding Portsmouth football club, the government has announced that it is stepping in to bail out the ailing Premier League club. "We believe that allowing the club to collapse would do lasting damage to the...

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Funny story: Portsmouth Call In Administration Team

Portsmouth Call In Administration Team

Portsmouth, the Premier League football club with mounting, unpayable debts, have decided to take drastic action ahead of Friday's scheduled winding-up order, and have appointed a team of administrators. By entering into administration, Pompey wil...

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Funny story: Saints v Pompey - Visitors To Receive Warm Welcome

Saints v Pompey - Visitors To Receive Warm Welcome

It's been announced that Saints fans are preparing a typically warm Southampton style welcome for the FA Cup visit of deadly local rivals, Portsmouth. As both clubs have had to deal with harsh reality checks on survival in the football world, an i...

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Funny story: Conjoined Twins Signed Up By Portsmouth FC

Conjoined Twins Signed Up By Portsmouth FC

Cash strapped Portsmouth FC today signed American conjoined twins, the Pissgum brothers to shore up a leaky defence. Pompey boss, Avram Grant is hoping that the Pissgum twins will form a Neville brothers type function at the club. "We're hoping th...

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Funny story: Pompey Whacked By Double Whammy

Pompey Whacked By Double Whammy

Pompey's woes continued last night as they were comprehensively beaten 4-1 by freewheeling Arsenal, with goals from Eduardo, Nasri, Ramsey, and Song. Belhadj scored the home team's single riposte. Portsmouth, languishing at the bottom of the Premi...

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Funny story: Portsmouth FC Bankrupt?

Portsmouth FC Bankrupt?

In breaking news, we've just been informed that Portsmouth FC could possibly be declared bankrupt as early as next week. If these reports are confirmed it would be disastrous for the south coast Premiership club, famed for its fanatical and vocife...

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Funny story: Southampton Mayor Defiant

Southampton Mayor Defiant

In what will go down as a disastrous week in the history of the City of Southampton, a week which sees the very real possibility of Southampton Football Club fading into extinction, should ballerina Wayne Sleep's rescue package fall through, the Lord...

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Funny story: Portsmouth FC To Buy St Mary's From Local Rivals

Portsmouth FC To Buy St Mary's From Local Rivals

Reports emanating from Fratton Park appear to suggest that Portsmouth FC are prepared to offer bitter local rivals Southampton £10 million for St Mary's Stadium. It is a move which will clearly infuriate Saints fans, but a bloke in a suit coming out...

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Funny story: Tony Adams Admits He Wasn't A Very Good Manager

Tony Adams Admits He Wasn't A Very Good Manager

Sacked Portsmouth manager Tony Adams has admitted in an interview that he knew he wasn't a very good manager, but feels he was left with little choice when former boss Harry Redknapp jumped ship to go to Tottenham Hotspur. Adams, 40, was speaking...

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Funny story: Portsmouth Sign Old Bloke

Portsmouth Sign Old Bloke

Struggling Premier League side Portsmouth, made a swoop into the transfer market yesterday, signing Hayden Mullins from West Ham, and an old bloke from Porto. Edison Arantes do Nascimento is 68 years old, but is well-known in Portugal and his home...

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Funny story: Jermain Defoe Forgets Who He Is Playing For

Jermain Defoe Forgets Who He Is Playing For

There was confusion at White Hart Lane this afternoon, when Tottenham Hotspur entertained Portsmouth in the fixture that saw in-form striker Jermain Defoe playing for and against his former clubs. Defoe emerged onto the pitch at the start of the g...

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Funny story: Portsmouth abandon Manchester City clash

Portsmouth abandon Manchester City clash

Saturday's Premiership clash between Pompey and Manchester City was abandoned when referee Mike Dean visited Frampton Park ahead of the game and discovered a tribe of Inuit living on the pitch. The Inuit normally live in Alaska, but had chosen to...

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Funny story: Portsmouth buy Santa - Cruz - James to take over

Portsmouth buy Santa - Cruz - James to take over

South coast hack Ernie "Tom" Cruz reports from Portsmouth that the club have bought Santa Claus for an undisclosed sum. Tony Adams has not revealed the terms of the deal but it is reported to be a long term one involving a steady supply of mince pies...

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Funny story: Arsenal Name New Captain

Arsenal Name New Captain

Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger has acted swiftly to fill the captain's position after the farcical William Gallas shenanigans last week, by installing Portsmouth manager Tony Adams as skipper. Adams played for the Gunners for his entire career from...

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Funny story: Portsmouth Hire Bald Guy

Portsmouth Hire Bald Guy

Portsmouth manager Tony Adams has reacted swiftly to fill the position of first-team coach at the club after Martin Keown rejected his offer last week, by hiring famous 1980's balding Dutch guy, Johhnnny Metgod. Metgod was said to be excited at th...

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