Portsmouth Call In Administration Team

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Wednesday, 24 February 2010

image for Portsmouth Call In Administration Team
Things are looking serious, Tracy.

Portsmouth, the Premier League football club with mounting, unpayable debts, have decided to take drastic action ahead of Friday's scheduled winding-up order, and have appointed a team of administrators.

By entering into administration, Pompey will be docked nine points, but the winding up order against them due to be heard on 1 March will be suspended.

One of the administrators is Tracy Smith, 19 from Southsea. Tracy is a typist, and says she prefers typing to her last job as a till operator at the local Tesco, although there are certain obvious similarities.

Another one of the team is Julie Skivvy of nearby Hayling. Julie abandoned her job as a Career Doley and took up a LearnDirect Officework course last October. She has already learnt to read well enough to be able to do filing. She also doubles as a cleaner and bog-unblocker, and will be an indispensable part of the Fratton Park administration team.

Head of the unit will be Dave Jinks. He is a former traffic warden, and trudged the streets of Portsmouth for more than 30 years before 'coming inside' and turning his hand to office work. He managed an office at a local timber firm for a while before being demoted due to a sexual abuse allegation which was never proven.

Phil Hall, a spokesman for Pompey owner, Balram Chainrai, said:

"I don't know why we didn't hire an administration team a long time ago. They're so efficient! They do all the typing, filing, telephone-answering, that sort of thing. And Tracy makes a beautiful cup of tea as well!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics



Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Subscribe…
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more