This morning's Today programme "interview" of Dark Lord Peter Mangelson has resulted in the Business Secretary being sectioned under the Mental Health Act. Repeatedly during the interview, the recently created peer interrupted and argued with hims...
Gordon Brown decided to fight the public perception of him being an idiot. The prime minister went on holiday and left in charge very questionable individuals to run the country. The logic was simple - public must see that he is so much better than h...
The police investigation into MP's expenses has identified a bizarre twist in the evidence trail. Whilst digging deeply into the claims of the MP for East Cheam, Mr Lamar Middleton Penrose, who has claimed the maximum possible expenses since his e...
No, Peter (Dark Lord) Mangelson is not the neighbour you would want. But why? Is it the smell of burning sulphur that permeates the atmosphere when he exhales? Is it that he has spun himself from Satan to Saviour in a few short weeks? Could it be that his time as European Commissioner For Something Or Other, secured for him by his best bud, Tony Bliar took him out of the public eye un...
As Harry finished his homework for the day, writing an essay about the importance of saving gender awareness whales from being harpooned by sarcastic satirists, the telephone rang, and it was his girlfriend Hermione on the line. 'Come round to my place now, Harry!', she said, 'an evil warlock has been spotted in my garden!', for she lived in Downing Street in Westminster, and soon the pair were...
Androids Last week our intrepid inquirers reported back on their findings that Android Young and Lubja Stikupyerarze of Oxfordshire PCT (Primary Care Trust) had discovered something more important than life or death. Teapot In a shock new develop...
Welcome. We have a very strange letter from a guy known only as 'Mandy', but I 'appen to know that his first name is Peter. Ok, here it is: Dear Geoff, I have a serious problem. Just recently I have developed the most dreadful anal warts. Not just one or two either. Scores of the bastards. It hurts when I sit down. And Ronaldo wont play leapfrog with me any more. I really like it when he pla...
It has been revealed that Prime Minister Gordon Brown followed in the footsteps of his predecessor Tony Blair, by filming a sketch with Catherine Tate for Comic Relief, in March - but BBC bosses decided not to show it on the night - because he isn't...
In a surprise move announced today, Lord Mandelson is funding a new venture, the "Lordmandy Custard Company". Based on his vast experience with custard, the company plans to produce a range of coloured custards, using only natural ingredients of c...
Fears that Lord Mandy's partner, Ronaldo, may be suffering from a mystery virus grew today. Lord Mandy appeared for an official engagement covered in a green substance. People immediately wondered if the source of this green substance could be Ronald...
Business Secretary Lord Mandelson has been nominated for a BAFTA award for services to comedy, it was announced this morning. The British Academy of Film and Television Arts is to present Mandelson with a special award. He is to be honoured jointl...
Peter Mandelson announced in Parliament today that the government has given in to postal union pressure and will now provide more Vans as part of the Royal Mail sell off. This is seen as a major embarrassment to the Labour government who had been el...
Peter Mandelson has taken up the pen and written his own spicy sexy novel. The novel which is due for release later year called "Sex crazed Politics" is about the sex charged happenings behind the scenes in the Houses of Parliament. The story...
London,UK/ Auto Nostalgia News - Treasury Business Secretary Peter Mandelson made auto news today with the announcement that $3.2B would be made available to bring back iconic English car marquees, Morgan and MG Motors in the hopes of stimulating th...
Peter Mandelson, or, to give him his full title, Lord Mandelson of Hartlepool, has this morning unveiled details of his very own festive culinary delights, Mandelson's Mincer PiesTM. The pies are the result of a recent collaberation with TV chef a...
Peter Mandelson, the MP who resigned from the government not once, but twice, over accusations that he was 'as bent as a nine-bob note', is to become the latest gay person to host a new BBC show which will cater for those with a tendency to bum men,...
A senior spokes person from the South Bemused Hospital For The Particularly Unwell, (SBHFTPU), today reported that Lord Mandelson was 'comfortable' and in 'high spirits' after it was revealed that he had a 'Post Office' like growth protruding from o...
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