London - (Pie-in-the-Sky Mess): A deep space sarcophagus commissioned by the Illuminati for the death of Queen Elizabeth streaked across British skies at dusk yesterday. Government spin doctors immediately dubbed it 'a Gemenid meteor fireball, heh...
Silicon Valley USA: Facebook went off line for 20 minutes last night, causing the asteroid Armageddon13 to change course for earth. Military scientists have known Armageddon 13 to pose a serious threat to earth for 17 years. Facebook was conceive...
Earth, meet Asteroid 1999 RQ36! - Something that isn't quite right is going on and the American people, actually everyone on earth, need to know about it. Asteroid 1999 RQ36, which has a chance of hitting the Earth before the year 2200 has been re...
Scientists at the European Space Agency are extremely excited as they explain that the Rozetta Satellite is soon to be photographing asteroids. Taxpayers, worldwide, just do not understand why scientists in many countries are spending billions on...
A 747 Starliner that disintegrated at 30,000 feet do to a breach in its structural integrity and subsequent loss of air-pressure over Tehran, Iran, last week has been labeled an unpreventable freak accident. A micro size meteor has been discovered lo...
It has been reported by the Space Center in China that a space probe launched in 1998, on a ten year round-trip exploration voyage to Ferno, a small asteroid that orbits the sun every three-hundred years is returning. However, instruments on board th...
Outback Australians were told to stay indoors to avoid being struck by an out of control piece of space shit. The Japanese asteroid space probe returned to earth via the great Australian Outback, near a military site in South Australia. Rail an...
The recent launching of a U.S. military rocket finally began making sense today even though the military still will not discuss it. However, our reporters have uncovered a copy of half-shredded military records that say that headquarters in Housto...
Independence, Missouri - (Portents): "Last time anything extraterrestrial like this happened was 8 May 1984, the centenary of Truman's birth," a presidential library intern said today. "A blinding white light swooped low over the ceremonial wreat...
Meteor, AZ. Tragically the residents of Arizona are running out of room for garbage disposal. Their preference is to send garbage overflows to Texas, a deserving state, but the existing environmental regulations prohibit the transportation of garba...
MILKY WAY - It was recently discovered by scientists that there is a 1 in 28,000 chance that an asteroid the size of Rhode Island can have a direct impact with earth within the next 30 years. While this may not sound like a big deal, mainly due...
In an announcement that stunned the world, NASA has announced that an asteroid will hit the heartland of the US in 2010 and will wipe out the entire country. As millions flocked to the streets and jammed telephone lines seeking more information, The...
The Universal Crop Fuel Farmer Association (UCFFA) has announced support for Russia's project to divert an asteroid from a collision-course with Earth. 'When we heard that Russia would not use nuclear power to negate the threat, we knew instantly...
China's space agency has announced its intention to join Russia in an international project to save Earth from a cataclysmic collision with a gigantic asteroid. Xian Bao, head of China's space agency, said that the Chinese people would 'work to th...
Russia's space agency has announced an ambitious project to save the Earth from a rogue asteroid, drawing powerful objections from Al Gore. Anatoly Perminov, head of the space agency, said in an interview broadcast on Voice of Russia radio that th...
This week, 24 hour world news coverage has been depicting London as a huge flaming crater after a devastating meteor impact. But when humanitarian aid arrived in London today at a cost of £300,000,000,000.97 everything seemed fine with no evidenc...
Astrologers all over the country are dismayed this evening after their view of spectacular meteors was blocked out by a Perseid Shower. The meteors are usually viewable for two nights at this time of year, but tonight proved not to be one. A grou...
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