Earlier today a near riot broke out in the House of Commons. Pandemonium was unleashed when MP for Paddington North, Rory O'Hare, tabled a motion that sought to prevent Freemasons from standing for political office. O'Hare made the proposal on the...
London - "Just checking HM's knickers for paranormal activity," a parapsychologist from the Met's 'Ghostbuster' unit commented, "hopefully there'll be no Jimmy Savile hexoplasm down those murky depths!" The Buckingham Palace sweep has been ordered...
Windsor - "Must have been another one of her nocturnal emissions," Windsor Castle groundsmen said today as they changed the locks on the Royal Mausoleum. "Still, that's the power of prophecy for you, gotta be worth a tenner that she's about to po...
Norfolk - A colony of the endangered species is causing havoc at the royal residence after making new nesting arrangements in the Queen's ensuite composting lav. The organic throne room is said to be completely infested after a Phobics Anonymous-s...
Balmoral - A pesky phantom is being blamed for snatching the Queen's knickers during a performance of Mozart's Cosy Fanny Tutti this week. The royal arse was left in the buff as HM sat through the 1790 three-act Opera Buffa at the Loch Ness Operat...
NEW YORK CITY - It appears that Kate Middleton is getting more publicity than all of the British royalty combined including Queen Elizabeth II, Prince Philip, Prince Charles, Camilla, and the Duke of Liverpool AKA Timmy Tockerticky. Kate's hubby P...
LOS ANGELES - Mystic Falls will soon be getting a visitor who is one of the most recognized persons in the world. The producer of The Vampire Diaries Manolo Middlezuck has verified that Kate Middleton AKA The Duchess of Cambridge has in fact been...
Washington - It worked a treat for George W Bush's 2004 re-election bid as voters lapped up Dubya twirling the royals 'like some half-demented Dervish' during his 2003 London state visit. This weekend the White House PR team was putting the final...
The traditional Christmas Day speech broadcast to the nation each year by the Queen is to be performed this year by ... Helen Mirren! Helen approached the BBC to suggest she replace the Queen this year after hearing that BBC chiefs had told the Qu...
More legal action is set to be launched by the Royal Family following the publication of a snapshot in a Dutch magazine showing Queen Elizabeth sitting on the toilet eating a hot dog. The photo alleged to be shot from a hidden camera carried by a...
LONDON - England's Tickety Boo News is reporting that Kate Middleton is devastated over the topless photos that were secretly taken of her. Neville Twickenbuck of TBN stated that an unnamed highly reliable source has made it known that the Duchess...
LONDON - The British publication Ta Ta For Now News is getting ready to publish topless photographs which were allegedly taken of Kate Middleton, AKA The Duchess of Cambridge. TTFNN's Chatsworth Wiggonholt stated that Kate "The Great" as Dancing W...
Balmoral, Scotland - Successful milking of public credulity with that Diamond Jubilee malarkey now sees HM hog the limelight in a personal stab at The Great Escape. Monday's launch under a brilliant 17-degrees Virgo Sun/Mercury conjunction trigger...
London - Someone has told her that Friday's 15th anniversary of Princess Diana's death 'will be a double whammy' in royal RIP terms. And that the day's Full Moon is a portent of HM's own demise. "Bloody stuff and nonsense if you ask me," Prince...
Bonny Prince Harry, currently standing in as Caretaker King due to family illnesses and honeymoons, today defended the controversial decision to order the hanging of newspaper publisher Rupert Murdoch. Harry took the keys to Buckingham Palace whil...
London - Mental slippage and cognitive retardation have wreaked havoc on HM's sunset years after decades Commonwealth ganja dependence a royal source said today. Palace quacks' insistence on bleeding her with leeches first identified the scale of...
HOLLYWOOD - Gladiator Films in association with Left Coast Libido Pictures is currently in talks to sign England's Prince Harry to appear in the motion picture The Red Star Diaries. The porn film will be directed by Gunther Krottentokker and will...
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