MOSCOW - Russia's Vodkavich National News Agency, has just announced that a world record has been set by a Russian citizen. Valentina Pavlovsky, a 19-year-old ballerina from Moscow has gone into the record books. Miss Pavlovsky has just complet...
Crossed wires were being officially blamed today for the Russian refusal to bail out Britain's ailing economy. Somehow the request for help was lost in translation and a special delivery of Moscow weather was sent instead of money. George Osbor...
Moscow, Russia: On a Russian battlefield, sodden and churned into mud, with a cold Siberian easterly wind blowing Brendan Rogers' Liverpool 'ground' to defeat. There was no Liverpool red army marching on Moscow, instead it was more like the boy sco...
The body of the infamous monk, preacher, Bay City Roller and adviser to the royalty of Imperial Russia, has been found by archaeologists, it was announced today. The remains of the so-called "Mad Monk", famed for his role as counsel to the Tsarin...
Moscow authorities are to install public lavatories that can withstand a terrorist bomb blast. The move follows a spate of Islamist terrorist attacks on the Russian capital in recent years. And in a city where winter temperatures can fall to we...
Russia is paying an expensive price after the devolution of its ruthless "Iron Curtain" empire. After being forced into giving independence to most of its satellite states and leaving them in the lurch, many terrorist groups in such countries are...
President Putin has warned Britain that expelling alleged Russian spy Ekatrina Zatuliveter would bring a tat for her tits. The sexy research assistant of Liberal Democrat M.P. Vladimir Hardcock has been sending the latest inside news on the in-fig...
Washington AC/DC - (Reuterus): The President's chief of stuff is to fulfill a long-held ambition to run for mayor in his home town of Moscow. The move comes amid a sudden vacancy following today's sacking of Yuri Luzhkov by Russian President Dim...
The Spoof's main man in Moscow, fine English gentleman, distant relative of Kim Philby (but not Gay) and loves a cuppa, Earl Grey, had to dive for cover in Moscow after terrorists attempted to blow the decrepid underground into oblivion today. Sui...
Moscow - (Booby Traps): Mossad's Dubai hit squad is suspected of being behind the specialist Thought Police brainwashing division that trained today's Moscow Metro terror attackers. Two heavily burkhaed 'Jihad Janes' were caught on CCTV seconds be...
Kool and the Gang have announced that they are to play a special one off gig in Moscow. The venue is to be the voluminous knickers of Volga Olga, possibly the largest Babooshka in town. Kool (Robert Bell) said "We really only like playing venues t...
The bullying row continued at 10 Downing Street yesterday as Gordon Brown denied being a bully. He has, however, admitted to attending a short course in leadership at the Putin Academy, Moscow. "I attended for a week. I am not a full time student the...
Only just midday in the Moscow suburbs. The sun was shinning and it had finally stopped snowing. A pleasant day for National Defender of the Nation Day. Or so I thought. The doorbell rings. I'm in the middle of a work project. I ignore it. My wife is out, I'm not expecting company and I've work to do. The doorbell rings again. Once more. Again. I decide to open the door. Big mistake. It's Iv...
You said that anybody could just drop you a line to ask for your help or to make suggestions. I'd like to take you up on that offer if I may? Firstly, can I suggest that you try to keep the place a little cleaner? Ok, a lot cleaner. I haven't noticed any street sweepers in the capital. Where are they all? Siberia? Oh, they are. Sorry. They were guilty of anti-Russian practices so you shipped...
Dynamo Moscow are one of the most famous names in European football. Just after the second world war they visited England and played against Chelsea, thus providing an early link between Russia and the West London team. Despite the long, proud history Dynamo Moscow are about as popular as a dissident at Putin's datcha. Could this be that Dynamo Moscow are the team of the KGB? When the commen...
Door jaw has claimed yet another victim. Moscow's hospitals fill up with people wounded by the heavy, old Soviet doors of the Metro station. You only have to slightly mistime your entrance and you are suddenly making a horizontal exit. One recent visitor to Moscow who became another victim is Mr Stig O'Treacy. Here he tells his story. "I was heading for Mayakovska metro station. I'd managed...
The all-conquering English leader Napoleon Mouseheart had tried to invade Scotland from England with his superbly organised army, but today had to order them to retreat from the outskirts of Scotland's capital city of Edinburgh, due to the appalling...
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