President Putin has warned Britain that expelling alleged Russian spy Ekatrina Zatuliveter would bring a tat for her tits.
The sexy research assistant of Liberal Democrat M.P. Vladimir Hardcock has been sending the latest inside news on the in-fighting in the LibDems over student fees. This fight is an essential element of Hardcock's Defence brief and he is currently on a committee which discusses such matters.
'If you don't want Ekky's beautiful tits I know someone who does' exclaimed an infuriated Putin 'Russia's relationship with Italy will be further strengthened when our lovely damsel becomes Berlesconni's assistant. If you half-dead Englishmen do not want her, we will see how she gets on in the arms of Italy!'
Expulsions from Russia are also feared in the tit for tit exercise. Several diplomats in the British Embassy who have commented recently about a 'Russian Mafia' are high on Putin's list of undesirables. He has tried showing one delectable Diplomat his muscles and no interest was shown. This type of undiplomatic behaviour is not going to be tolerated any longer.
A stunned British Government, already reeling from the abuse of angry students and schoolchildren, looks set for a gas freeze from Russia which will mean more cuts and a likely uprising.
