Almost all of modern physics is simply wrong says a new UK government report written by top academics. They argue that about a hundred years ago physics took a wrong turn and has consequently had to invent more and more bizarre theories to keep the s...
The chief Scientific advisor to the Government has attacked the notion spread by some Tory Back benchers that Anti-Matter doesn't matter. In a statement from his laboratory deep beneath the earth Prof Augustus Sink argued that 'Anti-Matter defini...
Preparations are now underway to ensure the safe journey of the Olympic Flame from the ancient Greek site of Olympia to the Olympic Stadium in London, for the 2012 Olympic Games. 'Many people wonder how the Flame can travel all that way without mi...
In a landmark ruling the fabricated religion Pastafarianism, the religion of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, is to be taught in Physics in US Creationist Faith Schools. "We are quite upset," said leading Creationist, Michael Behe. "For...
Cern scientists have been baffled by experiments which seem to turn a century of physics on its head. They claim to have witnessed neutrinos travelling at speeds faster than the speed of light. If they are shown to be correct, it could throw doubt...
Scientists were simultaneously elated and confounded over the recent discovery of the smallest particle in the universe, as produced from the $10 Billion Proton Collider on the Swiss/French border. The source for all other particle creation, also de...
Scientists are celebrating today after a retired plumber found the so called "God Particle" behind his sofa. Bill Appleton, 63, has expressed his surprise at his find. "I was only looking behind the sofa for some change to pay the window cleaner...
Switzerland - Astrophysicists at Switzerland's CERN Institute have replicated anti-matter warheads first debuted on a Star Trek episode in 1966. A report on the Beeb TV news channel broadcast an excerpt on Monday night showing Captain Jim Kirk ord...
As predicted in a previous spoof, the fictional 'God' particle was in fact not found at Easter, and was yet another jibe in the relentless atheist drive against religion. At a recent press conference, the boffins from CERN proudly announced that t...
The so-called Large Hadron Collider, buried deep underground somewhere in Switzerland finally proved its worth yesterday when at 4.21 pm in the afternoon (GMT) it collided with a large hadron. A loud cheer rang through the echoing caverns - this w...
There are plenty of "How To" articles for buying houses and the other big decisions. How To books for cooking, however, are rarely called "How to Cook", unless you look for books by Delia Smith. Instead, they have a bewildering array of names, such as "30 Minute Meals", "101 Recipes for Lentils", and the like. This makes selecting appropriate reference material more complicated. Many of you wil...
Many long hours in the lab, observatory or one's own head can leave many dedicated physicist unable to make the basic distinction between the sexes. Fortunately, there is a handy reference for identifying the sexes that can prevent many an unfortunate encounter. This is similar to the process for confirming a hypothesis, and contains many null hypothesis, thus it is totally scientific and can b...
There is nothing trickier in life than finding The One. Not Neo from the Matrix, but a partner with which to spend one's life; a soul-mate. The One is often typified by a strong attraction, and it is here where we can look for help in physics with the laws of electromagnetism. Faraday's law of induction (or in this case, introduction) states that moving a magnet induces electricity. Or to put i...
At school, we are taught that there are four states of matter (in decreasing order of order) Solid, Liquid, Gas and Plasma. Physicists know of a fifth, which is Bose-Einstein Condensate, which is a kind of solid liquid. However, this is an extreme and rarely encountered outside of the lab. But what does this have to do with asking for directions? Well, there are four states of being lost.
As with the laws of thermodynamics, there are three laws of home economics. The dedicated physicist should bare these in mind when setting up home. 1. Conservation of energy No matter how often lights and appliances are switched off, elsewhere in the home, a spouse or child is turning on something else. This keeps the house energy levels constant. Adding insulation, energy saving bulbs and tri...
The Royal Swedish Academy of Sciences has awarded the 2010 Nobel Prize in Physics to Barack Obama, current president of the United States. Mr. Obama accepted the prize at the traditional royal ceremony in Oslo, Norway. He addressed the distinguis...
Remember the year the bees all but disappeared? Not many were left and beekeepers were beside themselves wondering if their livelihoods had been taken from them forever, only to realize a year later that the bees were back. Where did they go? Quan...
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