'God' particle to be discovered by end of 2012?!

Funny story written by Gary Potter

Tuesday, 17 May 2011

image for 'God' particle to be discovered by end of 2012?!
An Elephant, but not a white one - unlike the Large Hadron Collider

As predicted in a previous spoof, the fictional 'God' particle was in fact not found at Easter, and was yet another jibe in the relentless atheist drive against religion.

At a recent press conference, the boffins from CERN proudly announced that they had 'rediscovered' particles that they already knew about prior to building the Large Hadron Collider. I.E. they have discovered nothing.

Now its full steam ahead in 'discovery' mode with expectations that the matter will be settled by the end of 2012.

The LHC cost a third world feeding, eye watering, £2.6 billion. It was built to discover, or not, the fabled Higgs Bosun - emotionally nicknamed the 'God' particle, so called because it has absolutely no obvious link to God at all.

Although never actually observed, this magical particle is necessary to explain the standard model of physics.

Stephen Hawking, the famous theoriser yesterday pompously stated that "Heaven is not real, and is for people who are afraid of the dark". He does believe in unproven particles however.

New physics models are already being invented just in case the Higgs Bosun is not found.
Plans are also underway to convert the LHC into a 27km useless tunnel, once this invaluable research comes to a close.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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