Vietnam - (Bananaskin Mess): Future contestants in the Miss Universe pageant will be offered a state-of-the-art hex detox after Miss USA sponsors complained their luscious lovely's ass-over-tit tumble on the catwalk was the result of an ongoing c...
Nha Trang, Vietnam - (Sore Ass Mess): The Curse of Agent Orange was blamed today as comely Texan Crystal Stewart tripped and fell flat on her ass during the Miss Universe pageant in Vietnam today.
Hollywood, California - From the producers that brought you "The Osbournes," "Survivor" and "Fear Factor" now comes: "The Osmonds." That is if they accept the highly lucrative contract offer, as they are said t...
Washington, D.C. - Taken aback by the speech Miss Teen USA finalist, Lauren Caitlin Upton, gave at last Friday's competition, President Bush offered her a job as his official speechwriter.
Cancun, Mexico - (Ass Mess): Karma? Like revenge, a dish best eaten cold, wet and V-E-R-Y windy.
Mexico City - (Ass Mess): Miss Universe fourth runner up Rachel Smith has spoken for the first time about the 'bizarre Carlos Castaneda moment' in Mexico City last Monday immediately before the inexplicable fall on her ass in front of an esti...
Mexico Shitty - (Ass Mess): Humiliated, heckled, jeered and reviled Miss USA Rachel Smith has vowed to sue the GOP 'for being made the fall-guy in their dumbass immigration policies':...
Mexico City - (Ass Mess): Beleagured Miss USA Rachel Smith has blamed 'Mexican voodoo' after slipping and falling on the Miss Universe catwalk last night during the evening gown parade.
Tara Conner, Miss USA, has entered rehab for addiction treatment once again. This time, however, according to a source close to the reigning beauty queen, the addiction is not to alcohol or an illicit substance. Rather, it appears that Miss Conner...
According to "Inside Sources" Real Estate Tycoon and Y.U.P.I. Deity Donald Dump is considering a run for the White House in '08.
Los Angeles - (Ass Press): What should have been Miss Tennessee, Rachel Smith's crowning glory moment as judges voted her this year's Miss USA on Friday night has been marred by a challenge from the American Union of Dentists.
NEW YORK, December 28, Reuters - Renegade Miss USA Tara Conner announced today that she has donated organs to a child in exchange for yet another chance to retain her crown.
Tara Conner was crowned Miss USA recently, immediately things went bad, terribly bad according to pageant officials. Tara went ballistic in the clubs around town and was rumored to have failed a drug test. If that weren't enough she was seen publ...
Trump Tower, NY - (Ass Mess): Notorious ageing rug-man and diehard aficionado of the bald-patch slick-over Donald Trump has vowed in public to strip Ms USA.
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