Vietnam - (Bananaskin Mess): Future contestants in the Miss Universe pageant will be offered a state-of-the-art hex detox after Miss USA sponsors complained their luscious lovely's ass-over-tit tumble on the catwalk was the result of an ongoing curse.
Texan-born Crystle Stewart was still rubbing her sore pride today (as well as some intimate body parts) after what many have described as a warp in the time/space continuum upended the winsome 26 year-old, just like her precedeccor last year in Mexico City.
"This could be a case of bad karma resulting from wearing non-Fairtrade/organic/biodegradeable/sustainable five inch-heeled Manolo Blahniks, 'Midnight Magic' Pretty Polly Tights, a Oscar de la Rentboy Haute Couture gown and a potentially lethal Femfresh Intimate Deodrant," pageant organisers were told today by a deputation of local Vietnamese exorcists tendering for next year's aura deep cleansing contracts.
Syrup of figs, col liver boil (sic) and a strictly-no-sex early night are said to be part of the detox package.
God Bless America.
