Miss USA in Rehab Again

Funny story written by Sal Manella

Monday, 14 May 2007

image for Miss USA in Rehab Again
Conner seen here popping bubble wrap

Tara Conner, Miss USA, has entered rehab for addiction treatment once again. This time, however, according to a source close to the reigning beauty queen, the addiction is not to alcohol or an illicit substance. Rather, it appears that Miss Conner has become hooked on popping bubble wrap.

"Virtually anything can become addictive", said psychologist Milton Freudenberg, a researcher at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. "Bubble wrap, which has many positive uses, also has the capacity to destroy lives, if used in an improper manner."

Billionaire Donald Trump insists that he will stand by Conner as she continues to battle addiction. "I remain steadfastly supportive of Tara", Trump said Friday. "She needs support now, at this vulnerable point in her life."

Conner apparently began using bubble wrap the day she was released from rehab last time. According to the source mentioned earlier, Conner depleted her checking and savings accounts in a matter of days, purchasing merchandise she did not want or need, just to get the bubble wrap from the packaging.

Sal Manella

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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