Written by queen mudder

Sunday, 3 June 2007

image for Miss USA talks of bizarre 'Carlos Castaneda moment'
Miss USA Rachel Smith 'may have had a bizarre Carlos Castaneda moment' last week

Mexico City - (Ass Mess): Miss Universe fourth runner up Rachel Smith has spoken for the first time about the 'bizarre Carlos Castaneda moment' in Mexico City last Monday immediately before the inexplicable fall on her ass in front of an estimated 2 billion TV viewers:

"It was the strangest thing," Smith told press reporters.

"I'd been feeling reasonably confident given the jeering, booing and general catcalls from some members of the theater audience.

"But suddenly as I walked down the catwalk in my dreamy evening gown I had an almost 'out of body' experience where I could see myself slipping in my five inch Manolo Blahnik stilettos and my entire life rushing past me like a fast-forward video as I came tunbling down on my ass.

"And then the weirdest feeling! A passage from 'The Teachings of Don Juan: a Yucky way of knowledge' by Carlos Castaneda suddenly popped into my head from right outta nowhere. And hey! I ain't the bookish kind, no way!

"I still remember the words as I tumbled to the ground. They were: 'A warrior considers herself already dead, so there is nothing to lose. The worst has already happened to her, therefore she's clear and calm; judging her by her acts or by her words, one would never suspect that she has witnessed everything Mexico City could possibly throw at her in front of over 2 billion NBC-syndicated viewers'.

"I've since had two medical check-ups and they've found absolutely nothing wrong.

"Anybody think it might have been a hex or somethin'?"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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