President Donald Trump has reacted to the threat by Facebook users to storm Area 51, by saying that he will build a wall around it. Area 51 is deep in the Nevada Desert, and used, according to the government, for military testing. More than one mi...
A man was admitted to hospital last night suffering from what medical staff described as 'withdrawal symptoms', after the website he writes pointless stories for, mysteriously crashed. Moys Kenwood, 55, arrived at Hull Royal Infirmary in a state o...
A boy has told a group of his closest friends that he is to sue his parents for having him without his consent, so that he can pay for a holiday to Ibiza. Sam Bratt, 17, says he did not ask to be born, and, although he loves his life, and his pare...
You've had the experience. You're on a train en route to a meeting at your office in Liverpool and you're attempting The Observer Everyman crossword but one clue is giving you a problem. You work through it again and just one thing fits - "Port Sunli...
US President, Donald Trump, has told anyone still not fed up of listening, that he is not yet satisfied with the impression the public have of him, and will continue doing his utmost until his position has become completely untenable, and he is locke...
Sinéad O'Connor, the Irish singer who recently renounced everything about herself, and then converted to Islam, has grown a Muslim-style beard. Beards amongst Muslim men are requisite, defining 'manliness', and are seen as imitating Muhammad, but...
There was a surprise in store for a man in Battambang on Sunday morning, when, woken suddenly from his slumbers by a carhorn outside his window, he started to recite the mathematical constant, Pi. Moys Kenwood, 55, was a reasonable Math student at...
Many people these days think that the term 'mad' can be used to describe someone that acts oddly, or unnaturally, or even in a way which is sometimes seen by others as funny, but the dictionary definition of 'mad' is somewhat different, and nothing w...
A theory often quoted by "numero uno" Spoofer, Jaggedone, and top global Nutter, has been confirmed by Brit scientists in a survey confirming that people who work are totally and utterly insane! "The world is bonkers," claimed Jaggedone many years...
Are you feeling left out of the action? Is the world passing you by without you being able to make any kind of difference? Are you full of discontent with the political situation in America but have neither the time nor the inclination to delve into the relevant issues to find out what's really going on? Well, fear not! The solution is at hand. VITRIOL (reg. trademark) from BS Laboratories c...
Scientists at the Hadron Particle Accelerator outside Geneva, Switzerland are all excited at being given 'permission' to conduct a "ground breaking" particle experiment in the 27 kilometre long tunnel. Lead particles will be accelerated at veloci...
United Nations, NYC, NY (STT News) - In North Korea, Harmonic, Joyful and Heavenly Leader of All Living Things, Kim Jong-Un, announced that his nation can no longer stand by and allow Israel to threaten its borders from afar. As a signal of warning t...
Barry McCociner asks: Auntie Jean: I have recently discovered secret messages on Tomato Sauce bottle labels. These messages form part of a code which, when you take the 3rd letter of each word and assemble the whole string of letters and reverse them, reveal top secret instructions about preparing a landing site for the forthcoming invasion of earth by aliens from the planet Zod. I...
Los Angeles: Psychologists at LA's Psychological Research Unit have come up with a new view of schizophrenia. Explained Dr. Ty Polar: "It would seem to us that schizophrenia is more a socially/family conditioning phenomenon and not, as we presupposed, a genetic fault. In our Post Modernist world, alternative views of reality are axiomatic. Alternative ways of seeing things are prevalent in...
The last Boy Scout Ordinarily, being the strong, silent type of guy I am, I do not complain about my life. My life has its ups and downs, but the mountains aren't too tall-the valleys not too deep. I'm an Aquarius, a water sign. I have high tides; I have low tides. The human body is mostly made up of water; yet a walk through the ocean of my mind would scarcely get your feet wet. I'm no...
CALAIS - FRANCE French police today announced that local eccentric and certifiable lunatic, Alain De La Derriere has been found dead at his apartment, close by the cross channel ferryport. M De La Derriere has long been regarded as an eccentric in...
It seems if one wants to be a mass-murderer these days one has to be insane and now the Norwegian maniac, who cold-bloodedly slaughtered his victims, has proven the fact. He has been officially declared a "loony"! Anders Behring Breivik will live...
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