The only British man who is any good at tennis lost today to one of the many, many blokes who just happen to be better than him at it. "He lost well", said Susan Crochet, tennis correspondent of The Daily Middlebrow "he lost to the standard we've...
Recent studies conducted by England's highly respected Jane Johnson Institute of Journalistic Gender Disorders located in Wolverhampton, West Midlands has discovered a new male dysfunction. This new affliction is unique for several reasons. First...
LOS ANGELES - At the International People of the Year Awards 2011, you won the Loser of the Year Award. Ben Stiller presented you with the award stating: "This person has been such a loser that the fact the person even got here without getting injured is a miracle." You gracefully stumbled down the aisle to the stage, where you mumbled a few words of thanks. "I didn't really feel surprise...
STOCKHOLM & LONDON - Taimor al-Whatever attempted to blow up a busy shopping district in Stockholm. The retard. The guy had three fucking bombs and missed - anybody. That's good. The loser deserved it. Where's your jihad now? Bet he went to he...
Loser, John Strumpet, today found himself in the usual grip of losing a football game, playing for his local amateur team "Bob's Boys" - only to find himself slotting home two beautiful crafted and taken goals in the dying minutes. "It was amazing...
Medium Rock, AK - Senior year at Medium Rock High School was memorable for Johnny Wallbanger. The Medium Rock quarterback averaged 10 touchdown passes per game and threw for hundreds of yards, propelling his team to the top of their division. Wallb...
The owner of a pier arcade in Suffolk, has re-invented an old favourite where people had the opportunity to hit the well-known garden pest, the mole. He has found that the new version, which also allows the public to attack another well known high-st...
Dearest Madame Bitters, I'm a single woman well into my 30's and I'm more than ready to settle down. I'm dating a man who is sweet and considerate, but he is a loser in every other sense. He's a garbage man, he's 50lbs overweight and a horrible dresser. He goes to comic book and sci-fi conventions and he says, "Okie dokie," way, way too much. He's crazy about me and he wants to make a life with...
A clinically depressed Australian living in America has agreed to a bid of £5 after putting his "entire life" up for sale following a weekend-long drinking binge with friends.
A Croatian woman has dumped her long-term boyfriend after alleging that they are extremely incompatible and that their relationship was going "nowhere".
MINNEAPOLIS, MN - For many, the holiday season is a festive occasion full of revelry and joy, but for losers and rejects, the holidays can be a banquet of pain and misery.
TIPP CITY, OHIO (AP Newsliar) -- Local area resident Joe Botney is such a complete loser he can't even make the "L" loser sign on his forehead correctly, instead routinely using the wrong hand to make a "J".
It's a Sunday night and once again it's time to kick back those shoes and do what you enjoy most...You A) Have a few tequila shots and hit the town with your friends, you rarely go to work Mondays anyway cause you're always hang over...
Explaining that he was "tired of saying yes to every loser with his you-know-what in a wringer," the Lord God Jesus Christ announced yesterday that he would enter fewer hearts this year. "Don't write a check with your behavior that you can't cas...
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