TIPP CITY, OHIO (AP Newsliar) -- Local area resident Joe Botney is such a complete loser he can't even make the "L" loser sign on his forehead correctly, instead routinely using the wrong hand to make a "J".
The latest such sad incident is said to have occurred following the pick-up of a Chinese takeout order at Chin's Ginger Grill on West Main Street. When the takeout bag -- soggy from a leaky carton of won ton soup -- split open and delivered its contents to the pavement next to his rusted '89 Subaru Justy, a sheepish Botney self-deprecatingly made the "J" sign to a group of onlooking high schoolers loitering nearby in the parking lot.
"Man, that was just lame" said loiterer Mike Rosnick. "Or should I say 'jame'? Ha ha. What a loser."
The situation did not improve when Mr. Botney's car would not start and he had to call for a tow, only to learn that his AAA membership had lapsed.