A Canadian couple were arrested yesterday in the small tourist town of Port Dover, Ontario, Canada. Port Dover, is famous for its Lake Erie Perch which can be purchased at many eateries dotted around the town, and for 'Footlong Hot Dogs' which can...
Local Man, and Seasonal Hayfever Sufferer, Seaton Carew Today Nearly Became the victim of a potentially day-changing health scare. Carew, 41 and currently on holiday in Egypt, woke in his hotel bed to the sounds of fake lawn mowers cutting the fak...
People, I know you've had a hard go of it these past few months. Shoot, we all have. But if I might draw your attention to one concept that might make your day a little better, or a little bit worse depending on your social status, I think that you will, but maybe you won't, appreciate it. Throughout the rich and prosperous history of our country, many different people have been persecuted beca...
A man who eats only grass and weeds is to appear on Freaky Eaters the television programme about strange eating habits. Li Sanju aged 50, began eating nothing but grass and weeds two years ago. Li claims that since changing his diet he has been...
A university has published it's finding's on the often quoted saying 'the grass is always greener on the other side'. The £51,000,000 study, funded by taxpayers, was commissioned by Barry Twatt of the University of Life And Cultural Science in Twi...
In order to supplement their diets during these lean times, many U.S. citizens are resorting to eating grass. "Grass is awesome," Barry Bovine of Seattle, Washington recently remarked. "You just have to make sure you don't put a lot of chemicals...
Scientists at the South West Welsh University (South West Wales) have discovered why it rains more at the weekend. "As a multitude of home sapiens are cognisant of," Dr. Christopher Verbose (MBE, MSC, BScH, Phd, SCISP) said, "Precipitation has a c...
As drought and a severe water shortage continue in the American Southwest, residents and business are expected to make sacrifices. Lawns can only be watered certain days and during certain hours. Car washing cannot take place on the street. "...
A man was shot at yesterday for mowing his lawn too loudly, in the Scottish backwater of Dumfries.
All 100 pupils of a Scottish School were sent home on their last day of school for playing an end-of-term joke. The pupils had been drinking and were quite 'merry' and so decided to pull a stunt that would be forever enshrined in the history...
It sounds the mutterings of madmen, but in Chiswell, Devon, Charles Ainsworth, 45 has finally completed two years of painstaking work, and completed his house made entirely from CRESS!...
Dearer reader, Because we have been away from each other for so long (Abcess makes the hard on grow harder) I cannot help but hurt from wonder if you recall the previous 19 chapters of the gross buster and the coup de grass baby angel. Will it be worth your precious time to plumb the dark depths of this sequel . . . or will you just join us in Chapter 20 and say the Buster Fuckhead (see Ch 1) with...
Traylor Park, New Jersey (IP) - Seven year old Yani Finootch was walking home from school one day last month when suddenly he spotted something shiny reflecting sunlight up through the blades of grass. He had found a tiny pocket knife laying on the ground. The knife had a blade that was only a half inch long and it also had a tiny pair of scissors, a screwdriver, file, a pair of tiny tweezers, a...
Lexington, Kentucky (Weird Science Desk) - Horticulture experts at the University of Kentucky now have definitive proof that grass truly is always greener on the other side.
Who would you rather have mow your yard? The twelve year old next door? A professional landscaping company with high dollar equipment and a huge bill? You after working a ten hour day? Two hot, sweaty chicks in bikinis?...
If you are anything like me you'll have most probably thought that grass is green but think again, because according to a boffin it is in fact blue!...
Next year's US Masters will be contested on the first course in major championship history consisting entirely of sand. Tournament organisers announced on Tuesday that the grass across all 18 holes at the famous Augusta National will be uprooted...
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