Lexington, Kentucky (Weird Science Desk) - Horticulture experts at the University of Kentucky now have definitive proof that grass truly is always greener on the other side.
The head of research said, "Using a double-blind comparative method and 3-D glasses, no matter where we traveled, the grass was always a greener shade at the other location. We still have not figured out why or how this is the case."
Student participants were permitted to drop acid, eat hallucinogenic mushrooms, or smoke unlimited weed/peyote -- as long as it was good stuff.
Lab results are pending an independent review, so these premature findings might best be taken with a grain of salt. (Ironically, the same Kentucky head of research concludes all of his experiments by literally ingesting a solitary grain of salt -- or at least we think it is salt.)