Federal and local agents conducted raids Wednesday to stop dozens of alleged infected passengers and airline employees suspected of being riddled with the thus far undiagnosed "Zombie" virus that has now infected over 250,000 Americans. Forty-five...
Just two days after a drone strike killed Al Qaeda's second-in-command, Defense Secretary Leon Panetta made it clear Wednesday that drones are an option as long as the U.S. needs to defend itself against the zombie virus that is threatening America.
The CDC and Homeland Security are denying reports that the town of Firton, Nebraska has been "isolated and quarantined" after residents became infected with the Zombie virus currently sweeping across the United States. Unconfirmed reports are clai...
A man taken into custody by police in North Miami Beach who began growling at officers "like a rabid dog" and tried to bite an officer's hand while displaying super human strength was recently employed at Miami airport and was on duty the day the Nig...
The American CDC (Center for Disease Control) and Homeland Security are denying unconfirmed reports that the so called "Zombie" virus that has now affected well over 300 people in North America may have originated in Nigeria and that a Nigerian natio...
The American CDC (Center for Disease Control) and Homeland Security have issued "cautionary" warnings regarding a new blood borne virus that may have infected a "minute" number of people across pockets of the United States. Symptoms of the virus i...
In an unprecedented move in the computer software industry, Microsoft have indicated that their next generation Operating System, Windows 8, will be released on time. "It was scheduled for release in June 2012," said Irvine Collateral, Microsoft r...
Residents of many villages on The Isle of Wight have been preparing for the end of the world, like many people worldwide. Newby mayor, Arthur Askme (yes - he is STILL in office) told our intrepid female reporter that Newby residents have been prep...
Dear Jewish Friends: When the Rapture begins on May 21st, you guys get to go first. (Not sure how you people worked that out, what with you guys not believing that Christ is our savior, and then killing him and all. I'm not sure how that works, but, ya know, whatevs. I guess the lawyers were working overtime on that deal, huh?) Do us a favor and save us some seats? I gotta get the kids dress...
Mayan Chieftan Ah Balam got the surprise of his life yesterday when he opened his mail to find a copy of a 2013 desk calendar, sent to him courtesy of his car insurance agent, Ix Cuat."I thought we were all on the same page with this." Balam said. "A...
Doomsday, currently set for 21 May 2011, is going to be postponed because heaven and hell are not big enough for the world's population, a report states. The World Society of People who Know Stuff That Others Do Not (WSOPWKSTODT) reports that whil...
The year is 2014. Many things have happened between now and then. Most of them not pretty. Stan Grimshaw was ready. He had read all the books, seen the movies. He was prepared for any eventuality. His friends told him he was mad for stockpiling every tinned foodstuff known to man. He spent hours pondering over each purchase, looking for the longest possible shelf life available. Soups,...
40 000 dead crabs washed up in Kent Bizarre! Dead sea creatures in their thousands are washing up on beaches all over the world. Birds are falling from the sky. What's even MORE bizarre is that people are actually going around 'counting' them and it's believed they are 'rounding the numbers to the nearest l00'. Most of the public are asking for 'accurate' counts, just like in an election.
Scientists have claimed the end of the world is now nigh. The University of The Sunshine State department of water polo and environmental studies has forecast a soon end to all life on Earth. "Our nighness index is now showing a record seasonal...
Scientists in Cern (Switzerland) have said that the Large Hadron Collider - LHC for short - may take at least 6 months to repair after it blew a gasket in October. However they are fully committed to restarting the experiments, which are hoped to re...
Leading Scientology proponent Tom Cruise (46) came out with a remarkable prediction today. "They day after November 24 will be November 25," Cruise said to the press outside his Beverly Hills mansion. "The Prophecy decrees it such." When asked...
It sounds like something from a science fiction movie. Specifically it sounds like something from the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, but this time it is true and fact really is a heck of a lot stranger than fiction. Dolphins are currently wa...
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